Race/ethnicity: British white
Current location: England
Highest education received: Not graduated from high-school
Relationship status: Single… i think
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Somewhat
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? Just this 1
That Was Quick
How long ago did this hookup happen? On going!
How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Friends with benefits
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? So i met this guy twice at 2 friends parties. The first party we obviously hadn’t met before so we just talked within the group. The second party was a while after that and we were both drunk but we got talking and we were friendly together at this party. Nothing happened or anything but we talked and messed about and he said we should talk some time, you know after the party…. so the day after that night he messeged me on facebook. Before i was thinking that i’ll messege him in a few days because the day after the party it would look a bit desperate but when he sent me a message it meant we talked on facebook for the next few months. At this point i just thought he was a nice guy and was just going with the flow of things really, not expecting too much so i didn’t have too much of an opinion of him.
So a few months passed and we’d been talking, then he said that he was having a party and that i should come. So i was like yeh sure that would be fun! So a couple of days before the party he gave me his number so we could txt rather than just talk on facebook… I honestly can’t remember how this conversation come up but somehow we arranged to have sex at the party. It sounds really bad, but this is how the situation somehow ended up. We joked about it a bit at first but when he asked if he needed to get condoms i realised that this was serious but still went along with it.
Haha, bear in mind that i’d met this guy 2 times before this! We arranged to have sex on this 3rd meeting at his party. I was meant to get there a bit early before everyone else arrived so we could do it but i was late and one of his friends was already there. This friend left the house to go get limes for sambuca shots and me and this guy went upstairs to get down to business. I should mention here that i was still a virgin and i can honestly say i was scared as fuck!! At first i told him a didn’t really want to so we just kissed but then i said maybe later in the evening… you know…. when we’d both had something to drink. This might sound weird but i just wanted to have some alcohol to help with the nerves and so i wasn’t so scared… beause i wanted to i was just really really fucking worried because it was my first time!!
So we both got drunk and later in the evening when everyone was downstairs we went into his room and messed around a bit, i told him that we could have sex in the morning at first. But in the end we had sex that evening and i slept with him. We also had sex twice the next day before i left his…. some of you may be thinking that i wasted my first time in a drunked party…. but i honestly don’t mind too much. It was nice and the alcohol helped with the nerves.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We basically said that we were friends with benefits. He said that we lived too far apart (a whole 25 minutes apart) and that he didn’t know where he was going to be in life next year, so i wasn’t exactly too excited about this idea but i thought that i’d go with it for now. I didn’t really want to be just fuck buddies because i’ve never really liked the idea of just having sex with someone for the sake of having sex and not actually being with that person in any kind of relationship. But i thought that i’d go with that for a bit.
So after his party we talked everyday over txt. We talked about how our days were going as well as sex which always came up in our conversation and we dirty talked a bit. But i hadn’t really done that before so it took me a while to get into it… he’d had much more experience than me. I heared from friends that before he went to college he hadn’t really been with anyone but i get the idea that he probably slept with a lot of girls at college.
We met up again a few weeks later because he offered me to help him with a job. I liked this idea because it meant i’d get to see him again, meet his family and spend the day with him. We messed around a bit while at work in a field helping out at a horse show while the other two guys who we knew interigated us about ‘what we actually were’ … as in, were we together or not or what? He said that i was kind of his girlfriend and kind of not… at the time this answer really bugged me and i wasn’t satisfied with it. But it really was nice to spend the day with him.
We just messed about a bit in between working on the show and afterwards when we were packing up we went into this little cabin thing and made out while he fingered me. One of the guys that we’d been working with almost came in on us. But when we finished we went back to his house and ‘took the dogs for a walk’ and had sex in his barn.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? The hookup or relationship between us, whatever you want to call it is still on going. So far we’ve had sex 4 times… we haven’t done anal and won’t because i’m not into that. But so far it’s mostly things that he’s done to me. The sex is ok, but that’s all i can say really. Its OK. I’m going to meet him again in a few days and we’ll probably have sex again.
When he fingers me its nice the only downside is that he’s a bit small… 🙂 also the fact that he likes me being on top but i like him being on top.
Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? He asked me if i had an orgasm and i said a bit, but not really. He said that he did and i think the last time that we had sex he was pretty satisfied so i think he enjoyed himself. I prefer it if he fingers me or licks me out rather than when we’re actually having sex because i can feel that a lot more… like a said he’s a little on the small side.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? So, so far we’ve had sex 4 times. We used a condom each of those times although when he pulled out he didn’t hold it on and it staid inside me so i was a little worried if anything had leaked. Since those times i’ve had pregnancy test and they’ve been negative… woop woop!! and i’ve just had the coil but in so we don’t have to use condoms anymore because i just think they’re really unreliable and i don’t want to be worried that i might be pregnant everytime i have sex. I’m glad that i didn’t get pregnant although he’s one of these people that litteraly says what their thinking… so after the last time we’d had sex he said that if i get pregnant he’d want me to have an abortion. I was just a little shocked at how plainly he put it and if it was me i wouldn’t have put it down so straight forward, but if i did get pregnant i would have an abortion anyway because i really don’t want a child right now. I would me more willing to have an abortion that to have the child and give it up for adoption i can’t explain it that’s just how i’m thinking.
I’ve recently had the coil put in so we don’t have to use condoms because like i said i just think they’re really unreliable.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I think my reasoning is that i wanted to be with someone. And as i’ve got to know him i think he’s a nice person. I mean he’s not perfect but no one is. I’m not saying that i want to dive straight into a full relationship but i don’t just want this to be a hookup i would like more out of it. I don’t like the idea of friends with benefits and if i’m having sex with someone i want it to mean SOMETHING.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? The first 3 times we had sex was at the party when we were drunk. I know i was but i’m not sure how drunk he was, i don’t think he was that drunk at all really. The reason for my drinking is because it was a party and i drink at parties. Also i’m a lightweight and i drank a couple of shots and a bottle of cider plus a couple of other things and i was more than a little tipsy. But the main reason i drank even though i knew we were going to have sex was because i was a virgin and i was really really worried. I don’t know why i just was, no one had ever seen me naked like that before and a guy hadn’t really touched me like that before night. I have to say i don’t regret the drinking because i wanted to have sex with him when i was a bit drunk, it helped with the nerves.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I’m still seeing this person and i don’t really want this to be just sex. I’m not saying i want a full relationship but i would like this to mean something. I don’t just want to be his fuck buddy even though i know that’s what this is. At least i think that’s what it is because i get these hints that it could be a bit more but i don’t know how much more.
I’m going to talk to him about exactly where we stand with each other after the next party. This is because if i talk to him about it now and we fall out then things would be really awkward at the party and i don’t want to mess things up right now. But after this next party i’m planning on talking to him about where this is going and what it means to him. I think that because he’s the type of person that says exactly what their thinking then i should get a straight answer and know where we stand with each other.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked about this with mainly 2 of my friends. Another 2 also knew about the pregnancy test. But the 2 that i talked to about it in depth basically agreed that i should talk to him about where we stand with each other after this next party to things aren’t awkward i we fall out with each other before then if i was to talk to him about it now. They don’t judge me for having a ‘friend with benefits’ which i find suprising but also comforting. One of the friends doesn’t know him she’s just my friend. But the other is also friends with him so he knows more about the situation.
I think the situation is that he wants a fuck buddy to pass the time because he doesn’t have anyone else on the go and he’s a bit desperate even though he flirts with everyone and everything that has boobs and a vagina. But to be honest that’s probably where we stand right now. I wouldn’t be too worried about where we stand if he didn’t flirt with so many people like i’ve been told he does. I’m just worried about if one day he breaks it off because he’d found someone better and i was just the fuck buddy to pass the time, that’s the situation i don’t want to end up in and i don’t know how i would react then.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? I plan on talking to him about what our relationship is and if we’re just fuck buddy’s or if its more than that. I would like it to mean something more but i need to find out what he expects from this.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? So far i don’t regret it no. I just don’t know how i would react if he says that i’ve just been there to pass the time and now it’s over because he’s found someone that he actually likes for their personality, not just because he thinks their fit…. apparently
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing about this hookup would be that as well as the sex we can talk and banter and we have the same way of talking. We both like to say whats on our mind and are straight most of the time, which i like. The downside to this hook up would be that i don’t know where we stand really and still need to find that out. I need to do this so that i know if we want the same things or is this is just a bit of funny on the side for him. But to me i want it to mean something rather than just be a bit of fun to pass the time. That’s not how i see it and i need to know if he wants to be in some way commited to me or if he’s interested in seeing other people while still having sex with me. If you read till the end of this story then thank you very much!!!
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
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