What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 50
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Michigan
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Writer
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 12
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 1
The Absolute No-Good Man Who’s Oh So Good
How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Very good looking bi-male. He preferred women for relationships and hookups but saw men just for sex on an occasional basis.
We met online and exchanged erotic stories we were writing. I liked him because he was smart, funny articulate and a good writer.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We met for lunch. He asked if I was interested in getting together for sex, I agreed. He came to my place the first time we hooked up.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We had dinner, cocktails, a great conversation about ourselves, and got high. The sexual tension between us was off the charts until I finally gave in. We had rough sex and a bit of D/s role playing. He absolutely banged the shit out of me. We took a break, had another cocktail, got high some more, and went at it for a second round.
We got together about once a week for about a month and a half. We usually met or drinks and then went back to my place or his place to get high and have incredible sex. He was the best fuck ever, had incredible endurance and stamina, and was good for two very good rounds of sex every time we got together. I gushed like crazy every time I had sex with him. He could go at it fast or slow and keeping things going for as long as possible. We always had great fun, lots of laughs, and great conversations.
However, our hookups were always around when he felt like having sex. He always had an excuse for not being available when I wanted to have sex. Sometimes it was because he had his kids. Other times he was vague about having plans. Things kind of drifted off after a month and a half from our first hookup.
He called again about nine months later. He said he needed help with a story he wanted to write. He took me out to lunch and then back to his place where we had cocktails, got high, started watching porn, and then had sex twice. Again, it was off the charts sex.
However, that time we got together, he told me he was seeing another woman in the time between seeing each other. I wasn’t sure how long he had been seeing her and if he was seeing me at the same time. I didn’t like the feeling that he spent more time with her (especially with friends and family as he didn’t with me). I also felt uncomfortable with how much he drank. He could outdrink me 2 or 3 drinks for my every one.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He’s contacted me twice over the past year and a half since then. I’ve blown him off every time. I’m just in no mood to be a hookup of his convenience.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more
How intoxicated were you? Completely wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? Completely wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one.
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat
Why do you regret this hookup? i wish he found me as fun and attractive as I did him.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sex was off the charts.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? His unavailability.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Hookups just aren’t for me.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I’m not a big fan of casual sex. I don’t like feeling empty afterwards. I prefer to have emotional connections with my partner.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s interesting. I’m curious to find out why people enjoy casual sex.
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