by Kevin

Gender: Male
Age: 36
Race/ethnicity: White
Location: California
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Occupation: College professor
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

The After-Party

How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 year ago

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand and fuck buddies

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? “Alyssa” was a former student of mine at a large university. I can’t name the university, but you’ve heard of it. I had been her professor in one, or maybe two, classes. She was 22 years old, of mixed ethnicity, gorgeous, sprightly, enthusiastic. I didn’t know her before the hookup, except as a face in my class and an occasional visitor to my office hours.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It’s not uncommon for ex-students to email me asking for an appointment. Usually, all they want is a letter of recommendation. So I didn’t think very much of it when Alyssa wrote to me and asked to have coffee. When I sat down, though, I realized that this wasn’t the usual reference letter request.

“I’ve been waiting to ask you this for a while,” she said. “I’m turning 22 next week and I wondered if you wanted to come to my birthday party.” The party, she told me, would be held at a local bar.

“Um, no,” I said, a little surprised. “All your friends will be there, right? How do you think that would look?”

“Yeah, I thought you’d say that,” Alyssa responded. “So I’d like to invite you to the after-party.”

“Where’s the after-party?”, I asked her.

“My apartment. 1am.”

“Ah, I see. Just me and you?”

“Just me and you.”

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? What do you think? We had sex. It was nice.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We used condoms.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Nothing substantial. We might have each had one drink.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We hooked up a few times that week and then lost touch. Recently, though, she got back in touch and we’ve hooked up again. But that’s a different story.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Given the circumstances, almost nobody.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes, completely consensual for both of us.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No, I have no regrets.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was probably how out-of-the-blue it was. And how she had cleverly thought through her invitation. The worst was that the age disparity made me feel old. But no, it didn’t change the way I feel about casual sex.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

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