Current location: New York City
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Occupation: Restaurant Hostess
Relationship status: Open relationship
Religious affiliation: Undecided
How religious are you? Somewhat
Sexual orientation: Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 30ish
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 2
The Armenian Saga
How long ago did this hookup happen? It started a year ago
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends with benefits
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? The Armenian and I met in the first few days of college, on the same night that I hooked up with Michael (see “Live From New York, It’s Saturday Night”). He was Michael’s suite-mate Freshman year. When Michael brought me back to his dorm that night, I met The Armenian and his roommate, Pablo, who had just gotten back from a concert. They were both lying in their beds, clearly exhausted, but were still talking to everyone. The Armenian was on the bottom bunk and looked up at me when I entered, acknowledged me with a nod, then put his head back on his pillow. Every now and then I would catch him glancing up at me, but nothing excessive. After Michael and I hooked up and I started hanging out in their dorm, I noticed that The Armenian seemed pretty distant from everyone, although he was perfectly friendly and polite. The first time we hung out alone, we went to a hookah bar around the corner and just sat, talked, and smoked for a couple of hours. In this time, I learned more about his life and his heritage, giving him the name The Armenian because his culture is an overpowering sector of his life. We eventually went back to the dorms and dropped in at a party. At the party, he got quite drunk and started opening up more, eventually asking if we could go back to his dorm and watch Donnie Darko, a film I’d been raving about that he’d never seen. Our group of friends regularly hung out in small groups watching movies, so it wasn’t that odd of a request. The movie absolutely blew his mind and when it was over, he confessed to finding me incredibly attractive, as he had since the first night he saw me with Michael. I wasn’t really taken aback, seeing as he’d called me attractive before in a large group setting, but I did feel a pull to him that I hadn’t before. However, I turned him down, explaining that it would be awkward considering Michael and I had only hooked up 2 or 3 weeks previous and they were suite-mates. However, we did cuddle for a while on the floor and I ended up crashing in his bed, him spooning me the whole night. The next morning, Michael off-handedly told me that I should sleep with The Armenian because he was so infatuated with me and Michael didn’t wish to sleep with me again. That stung slightly, but I decided to go for it, partially because I knew The Armenian would treat me well and because I wanted to get under Michael’s skin a bit.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? That night was my friend Kunal’s birthday. He wanted to get a navel ring, so I went with him and decided to get my nose pierced, something I’d wanted to do for a while. When we got back to the dorm, most of our group was already drinking, including The Armenian. Who literally yelled, “Are you fucking kidding me?” when he saw me. Apparently nose piercings are his ultimate vice. From then on, he could barely keep his eyes off me. We all went to a restaurant close by for dinner, but the table was packed and I had already eaten, so The Armenian and I, along with a couple of other friends, decided to head to the bar everyone else was going to gather at later. Alone at the bar, The Armenian and I got to talking and eventually, our faces ended up so close that he kissed me. It was a surprisingly delightful kiss and at that moment I felt…safe? That word is quite cheesy, I know, but it was true. I didn’t have feelings for the guy, but I felt comfortable kissing him, like I wouldn’t have to worry about him being a dick the next day. So after a couple of hours at the bar with our friends, we ducked out and went back to my room.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? As soon as we got into my room, we were all over each other. I was about 4-5 drinks in at this point, so the details are muffled, but I do remember going down on him right off the bat. Giving an exceptional blowjob is one of my strong suits, and he was quite impressed to say the least. He also went down on me for a bit. He wasn’t spectacular, but I don’t really like receiving oral anyway (unless they are ultimate pros), so I pulled him up and demanded he get inside me. I lost track of time we went for so long. He’d also had around 5 drinks, so he lasted incredibly long for a college boy, around 1-1.5 hours. He came inside of me (well, into the condom) and then we lay on my bed laughing and talking for a while. We decided that this would become a regular thing because the sex had been so passionate. We then showered, went back to his place, and slept in his bed.
Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I didn’t have one, but I almost never do. He did though, and that’s all the satisfaction I ever need.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We used a condom that first night. Eventually, we switched to no condoms because we weren’t really sleeping with anyone else (if we did, we used condoms) and I have an IUD. I trusted him to be honest about using condoms with other girls since he was very tight in our friend group and they would all kick his ass if he ever gave me anything.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? The original reason was kind of shitty: to get under Michael’s skin, which did eventually happen. The two of them had pretty severe tension for a while, which I am almost entirely responsible for. After that night, though, the reason was purely that The Armenian and I had a more serious and passionate physical connection that I’d felt with anyone before, even my exboyfriend whom I’d been in love with.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? We’d both had a lot of alcohol, but we’d also both made the decision to sleep together earlier in the year.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We carried on fucking once every couple of days for about 3 months. In that time, we also became very close as friends. He was more of a “bro” than I usually like to spend my time with, so whenever his other bro friends were around, we didn’t really speak. However, he shared very intimate secrets about his family and his emotions that he confessed to never having shared with anyone before. I’ve seen him cry, scream, punch walls… And I stayed by his side through it all. We tried exploring the romantics a few times, but the one date we went on was simply awkward and unpleasant, so we agreed that we wouldn’t go there again.
In November, things got shitty. A bunch of us went to a club one night (he and I had fucked earlier that day) and at the club he started hitting on this girl while he was quite wasted. It bothered me simply because we’d only had sex a few hours ago and he knew I could see him flirting with her, but I ignored it and eventually left once I walked in on them kissing in a stairwell. I went back to his dorm with his roommate Pablo and we were hanging out in their room when The Armenian came in towing this not-too-attractive drunk girl behind him. He then promptly told us to clear the room, not caring that I was in there as well. This ended the first stage of our FWB arrangement. I was humiliated, betrayed, and disgusted by how he’d treated me. After a few weeks, though, he came practically crawling back to me and after a couple of hours of apologizing and begging, I agreed to go back to the way things had been, sans him ever hooking up with that chick again. Winter break ensued, though, and when second semester started, things had changed. A good friend of ours had killed himself while on drugs the night before classes started and this destroyed everyone. The Armenian and I slept together the night after it happened, but almost more as a warm-body, I-don’t-want-to-be-alone deal than anything else. We petered out after that, unsure of how to go on. One night, about 3 months late, he walked in on me and Michael making out, and that sent him into a rage. We screamed at each other for a good 30 minutes before I left, slamming the door in his face. After that, things were obviously icy until he came crawling back again and confessed that he’d been torn up about how he’d treated me the past few months. I said I understood, but we didn’t sleep together that night. We did had sex the second to last night, though, when I ended up sleeping in his room for old time’s sake. That was a perfect last night (or so I thought) and we stayed up for about 2 hours just talking and kissing and cuddling. Over the summer, he texted me a few times and it was clear we were going to remain friends (if nothing else) when we returned for our Sophomore year. Two days ago, we saw each other for the first time in 3 months. He told me he’d missed me and that he wanted to keep hanging out with me, even if our clothes stayed on. However, I wanted to be with him physically too, so we ended up fucking in the middle of the afternoon. It was just a hot and passionate as last year, so I think he and I will continue to sleep together when we need someone familiar to hold.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? All of my friends and even my mother know about this. He was such a prominent part of my life last year that I couldn’t not tell them. They were all perfectly fine with it, just wanting to make sure that I wasn’t going to get hurt in the process.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Absolutely consensual for the both of us.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? As much as I’ve said I regret it to him and to others in angry outbursts, I don’t regret it for a second. We’ve been there for each other in a way that no one else can be there for us. For that I am especially grateful.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best has definitely been having that deep connection with someone, even if romantic feelings aren’t involved. The worst was how much tension arose between him and Michael, which kind of spread to the whole suite. I feel partially responsible for several aspects of the roommate tension, but they’re all out of the room now, so it’s all fine.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
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