by Wren

Gender: Female
Age: 20
Race/ethnicity: White
Current location: Brooklyn, NY
Highest education received: High school diploma
Occupation: Writer, Jack-of-at-least-several-trades
Relationship status: Poly-ish
Religious affiliation: Absurdist
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? Pansexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 40~
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

The Bourbon Collaboration

How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 month ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Short fling with heartbreaking potential

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Niko was the boyfriend of a good friend of mine for almost a year.
Before I even met him, I was tired of hearing about him. She wouldn’t stop, and sometimes it was a little discomforting. “You’re moving in with him? Less than a month after meeting him?” I swallowed these words, not wanting to burst her mildly obsessive bubble.
Later, spending time with both of them, it occurred to me that he and I shared a deeply similar, mildly cruel humor. We’re both writers, but it shocked me once, when Anna wasn’t there, while we were walking he drew back a little as if to hide his expression and said, “I really envy you.”
“Because you’re so well read. I have dyslexia.”
Billowing and a little wiry, his curls spiraling outward; I witnessed him brush them vigorously, a reluctant but slightly proud maintenance. Shorter than I, but dominant and pouncing like a powerful feline. A wry voice and and a colorful, slightly haphazard manner of dress.
He laughs at almost every other thing I say, weirdly enough. I once said that if I told him my mother had MS, he would still laugh.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He had broken up with her over a month previous, and it sounded pretty bad. I wasn’t looking for this, but when we arranged to meet up, I couldn’t help my excitement from simmering covertly beneath the surface.
I raced upstairs towards his apartment the night we had arranged to meet and ‘collaborate our writing’, crowing, “I quit my awful desk job, so I don’t have to be anywhere tomorrow! I can drink whatever I want!” 
He smiled slyly, “Then keep walking.”
He followed me down the long hallway and into the spacious living room of his slightly dingy, smoky apartment. There, on the coffee table, was a neat line of no less than seven shots of bourbon, the rest of the two-thirds of the bottle a little ways away on the splotchy wooden surface. 
During the consumption of the bourbon, there was less flirtation, than genuine interest. We read our writing to each other, him peering over the mountainous typewriter, and me reciting from my moleskines. I was relieved to find that I actually really liked his work, I told him I thought it was better than my own, which was mostly unedited scrawling. He countered with the same.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We were lying on the couch, which folded out into a small futon, basking in the glow of the wide screen hooked up to his xbox, listening to whatever William S. Burroughs spoken word pieces we could find on youtube. Both of us were slightly cagey, shifting around and barely touching as we lay next to each other. I don’t remember exactly, but I think I nuzzled his shoulder slightly. Suddenly, his mouth was covering mine in one of the most intensity-laden kisses I’ve ever received. I could have just made out with him forever, there was a ton of biting (mostly on my end), lots of tonguing, and even snarling.
As he started to remove my clothes I stopped him, with what must have been a panicked stare as I said vehemently, “You can Never tell her! Promise?” He did, I don’t recall exactly what he said, but it convinced me enough, though I was hardly unwilling to continue. 
He was at least quite large, potentially enormous. I hadn’t slept with anyone in weeks, having just broken up with the first boyfriend I had ever lived with. 
He was very passionate and at first slightly dominant, but when he was eating me out he was happily going away at it just too fast for me to really register where his tongue was pressing, so the sensation was just really feathery and not hard or slow enough. I stopped him and said, “Could you be more thoughtful?”, which seems like a weird word to use in retrospect. He seemed amused by this and adjusted accordingly until I was almost there. 
We went to his bed, pressed right up against a window with an air conditioner and heaping with mismatched blankets. I almost screamed with delight when he was inside me, though the skin/cartilage(?) of his head was somewhat wide and kept scraping along my walls, which was an odd, slightly distracting sensation. After a reasonable amount of time, he pulled out and came in a shower that went past my right shoulder and onto the pillows.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? Yes, both.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Pulling out.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Hard to ignore attraction, despite horrible timing.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? A third of a bottle of decent bourbon.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Lying on his couch that morning, having finally suppressed the fantastic hang over we both had, wearing my jeans from our excursion to the cafe for breakfast, but had taken off my shirt to expose my favorite bra. He again behind the typewriter, both of us exchanging quips of conversation and laughing happily.
Suddenly, his doorbell started ringing frantically. I shot up in horror. He got up, moved towards the door, looked back at me frantically, “I’ve never had this happen to me before!”
I stared back, hyperventilating and unable to repeat anything but “I don’t want to hurt her, I don’t want her to see me.” 
He went to the door and said, his rising voice firm, “Anna, you need to respect my boundaries. I need you to step away from the door, go down stairs and wait for me there.”  It seemed to take some convincing, but finally he watched through the peephole as she complied. 
He turned to me and said, “I understand if you leave, just wait 10-15 while I take her around the corner for coffee to talk.” 
I waited ten, pacing frantically, crept down the stairs, looked both ways down the street, and booked it to the C train.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A few friends, most of them amazed by the sheer craziness of it all, all advising to keep well out of it.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes, for the most part. My only regret would be for my friend to find out and whatever pain she may experience from that.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? See above.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The sheer passion. My friend and his ex almost catching us together. Worrying about my own loyalties, how little I experience jealousy and therefore my lack of understanding for it. Knowing how much Anna would hate me in the event of her finding out, yet slightly resenting her for that in turn.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

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