What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 35
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? UK
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Marketing
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 70+
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? Zero
The Dark Lord
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 months ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was tall, dark, tattooed, troubled. Like a young Nick Cave but prettier. Or an older Harry Styles but edgier. Take your pick. Worked in an art house cinema (obviously). I’d seen him before, in the cinema. He made ripping tickets and serving wine in plastic beakers seem cool. I was intrigued. And excited when I discovered he was the housemate of an older guy who was trying to get into my knickers.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? A house party of said older guy. It was one of those parties that I imagine other people go to ALL the time but I never do. A “keep it quiet, we’re having a few people back to ours”. People who worked in the music and film industries. Pretty girls, hip boys and sleazy older men. And me. In a red dress and dancing. There were drugs – coke, washed down with red wine wine, followed by Valium, followed by more coke. We got talking. His young, pretty girlfriend was asleep on the sofa. He said he didn’t have a sex drive since he started taking Prozac. I told him I slept with anyone I could. We left the party at 10am the next morning, his girlfriend sleeping on the sofa l, and went to another party. “This is what these cool people do” I thought. From that party to a pub where we drank more and tried to find more drugs before it got to 6pm and he said we were going home. We! Not anyone else. Just we.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We stumbled home one the rain. That weird combination of wired and high but tired. We got naked. Apart from my knickers which I kept on because I wanted to seem not totally easy but mainly because I had my period. I was delighted to see he had a cock piercing – a ring through the tip. It confirmed his darkness, his edge, his difference. I sucked his cock. He bit my breasts (as all the men do). I’d said I’d only fuck him if he took me for dinner. He came on my feet (some weird kink). My knickers still on but covered in jizz.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We lay in bed and listened to ghost stories and he talked me through his pictures on his wall. One of Lilith – Adam’s first wife, goddess of seduction. His bookshelf was heavy with books on the occult. We lay there for day. I slept, probably snoring and as ungoddesslike as possible. It got to 6pm the next day. We’d been together for 48hours. The comedown beginning. He ran a bath. I got ready to go. Clothes hard to find. It was raining. I said I’d get a bus. He said goodbye and asked me to let him know when I wanted to go to dinner. I said:”you don’t have my number?”. He took it like I imagine he takes his Prozac – routinely, disinterested. We embraced. I left, knowing dinner was never going to happen.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex happened
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Intoxication, To feel more desirable
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Cocaine, Prescription sedatives (Valium, Xanax, Diazepam, Quaaludes, Phenobarbital)
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Cocaine, Prescription sedatives (Valium, Xanax, Diazepam, Quaaludes, Phenobarbital)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? A little bit
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? As always, my best friend Rose. Pregnant and unable to party she wanted all the dirt. She was kind of envious. Maybe I’ll be envious of me when I look back, barren and unfuckable. I doubt it.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? I should have left him wanting more
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? When we kissed the first time
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Him not calling
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex is never casual. It’s loaded with baggage. I’ve slept with over 70 men and I wear that baggage heavily.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s great. It’s like a modern catholic confessional.
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