What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 21
What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? This person was of middle eastern decent, about 6 ft, strong looking/buff arms (he said he worked out) had come to the area for a residency program to receive his degree, he was about 6 years older than me (late twenties) which at the time being 20 seemed like such a difference in age and maturity. I met them online and I felt iffy like I wasn’t sure if they would be attractive in person or maybe they would be very nerdy. I knew them about two and a half or three weeks before meeting up.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We met up for a date at a restaurant close to where he was staying. Upon seeing him I knew he was definitely NOT going to be too nerdy and was plenty attractive. He was very kind, personable, you could tell he was in the right job because he was someone that you felt you could easily open up to and he seemed very stable and enjoyed listening to your conversation and providing any feedback if asking as we talked about our lives. I almost felt like he was an older adult figure in my life who could give me advice, and I have to admit that was a bit of a turn on being with someone “older” (even though they weren’t that old, their maturity level spoke volumes and made it feel like they were older). That night although we flirted, we did not even kiss. In the parking lot as the sun was starting to set we agreed to see each other again.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I met up with him at his place. We went into his apartment and laid on his bed while he had the TV on, watching some reality TV. He was cracking jokes about the show (something about a guy not being kissed yet well into adulthood) and it was a bit awkward and like an elephant in the room because we were laying on his bed, yet me and HIM had never kissed yet either. He decided to get under the covers (he was already relaxing for bed because he had work the next morning) He said something like “why don’t you get under here with me and keep me warm” it was kind of cute when he said that. So I did and within a few seconds of holding each other we started kissing. He got hard and started undressing from the bottom and said like “why don’t you give him a kiss” gesturing to his penis. I didn’t really like how he called his dick “him” and how he said “give it a kiss” like I was a child who didn’t know any better so I was like oh yeah sure I’ll kiss it…and started going down on him. I guess that way he talked also appealed to the older adult figure vibe I was getting so it wasn’t a complete turn off. He got up to get a condom and I remember he gave it to me from behind while laying sideways. I don’t think he even came from it which concerned me because that usually doesn’t happen. After he took it out he kept me in that position and tried to rub me pleasingly but he had finger like half an inch too high. That went on for an awkward few minutes. After that it was over and he got redressed and so did I and then we talked for a while.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We talked for at least an hour about life and he was incredibly kind and gave good advice. He seemed so personable and just a very likable person. I think we could’ve been friends with benefits (if he even wanted to anymore which it seemed like he did even though he didn’t cum). I thought we could see each other again and he wanted to take me out on another date, but I ended up getting busy and not getting back with him. I feel good about him, he seemed like a nice guy.
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told a friend or two and they thought he was attractive but they also did not like the “give him a kiss” dialogue.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The part afterward–I enjoyed the intimacy with him and maybe it was just a first-time fluke, but the way he talked afterward to me about life and told me some helpful and kind advice just made me realize what a great person he seemed to be and I knew he would make a great doctor. He seemed passionate about his profession too when he talked and getting to hear someone talk about something as great as he did was nice to see, especially where I was in life at that point I was not doing the best emotionally and he helped bring a smile to my face. The sex may not have been the best part but I still don’t regret it and enjoyed it at the moment.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The way the sex part was executed like it wasn’t very just happening at the moment and the lights were on.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It made me realize sometimes people really do not have emotional feelings but still value the person for more than just the sex.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
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