by DuRo

Gender: Female
Age: 34
Race/ethnicity: Mixed
Location: Canada
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Software Trainer & Implementation Specialist
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: N/A
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 15
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

The Five-Month Hookup

How long ago did this hookup happen? The last one was a month ago.

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Nonfriends-wth-benefits

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He is tall, intelligent, educated, and very cute. He has blue eyes, tight curly hair, and a constant five o’clock shadow. He dresses casual but cool. He doesn’t try too hard. He is also very funny.
I didn’t know him that well at all. We have a large group of mutual friends, but I couldn’t describe us as friends, as we had never really had much interaction with one another. I met him at his house through our mutual friends. 
I really, REALLY liked him before the hookups.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The hookup began at his house on NYE (New Years Eve). Nothing led to it. There was no planning and no instigating. I didn’t even know it was going to happen until 10 minutes before the hookup. But I had liked him for a few months, and had a feeling he liked me.
There were four so-called hookups over a five month period. A few were planned and one was not. I instigated one of them, and he instigated the rest. Except the first hookup which no one instigated.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Our hookups involved lots of making out. There is always oral and intercourse. Nothing at all kinky, sticking to the safe positions. It was always satisfying, even if I didn’t orgasm all the time. I would only orgasm through oral. And he orgasmed through oral and intercourse. 
He was always sweet and attentive. Some cuddling during the first interaction, but cuddling increased through our series of hookups. He is a decent lover. I mostly enjoyed it because I liked him so much. We never really talked about much. I’m super shy and private, so I tend not to open up to people I don’t know well (yes, I know I had sex with him, but I still didn’t know him well enough to have deep, meaningful conversations). He always expected me to stay over and would always drive me home the next morning.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We used condoms for intercourse. Nothing during oral. We did not discuss STIs or pregnancy.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? My reasons were because I really like him.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Yes. We were drunk and had smoked a bit of pot on NYE. The second hookup, I was drunk and he was sober. The third hookup, he was drunk and I was sober. And then the 4th hookup, we were both sober.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the NYE hookup, he left on a trip and I never expected to hear from him. I knew I would see him because of our group of friends but I didn’t want to take the hookup seriously despite how much I did actually like him. He ended up contacting me when he got back and we made a date to hang out. 
The series of hookups ended about a month ago. After our last hookup, there was no contact, despite being at the same places with the same group of people for three weekends straight. We just never spoke again. We basically radio silenced each other.  
I wish I didn’t hookup with him, because I wanted more. I wanted to date him…and I kind of still do. 
I still think he is a great person. Someone I could really get on board with.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked to my friends (both guys and girls). All were very happy that we hooked up, because I had liked him for so long before we got together. 
But now everyone doesn’t know what to think because of the behaviour, in between and post hookup.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was consensual experience for both of us.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I only regret this hookup because I wanted to actually date the guy and not just have sex with him. But I am happy that I did get to experience him, even if it was only briefly.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was that he was just as sweet as I had imagined. The worst was that it was just a hookup. 
I’ve never really hooked up before because I tend to like to connect with someone beforehand and be sure that there is potential for commitment before being intimate. This hookup definitely solidify my need for a commitment before engaging in sexual intimacy.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? We’ve had 4 hookups over five months, with the first being on NYE. Not all the hookups were while intoxicated. And not all just about sex. There was a date or two in that time as well.
Also, because of our group of mutual friends, I see this fella often. We don’t talk, we barely look at each other. We ignore each other and treat each other like strangers. I do it because I like him so much and with this being a hookup, I don’t want to add to the feelings I already caught. And I assume he doesn’t talk to me, because he isn’t interested.

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