Race/ethnicity: New Zealand
Current location: London
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Relationship status: Complicated
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 Months
How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Friends with Benefits
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Jared is a beautiful Australian with curly brown hair, brown eyes and of averagely tall height and reasonable stature. I met him in my flat, the first day I moved in. He seemed nice enough; a caring guy who liked to talk a lot of shit but always knew what he was talking about. I saw him everyday but we’d never hung out just us two.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He planned to show me around London as a friend and told me he liked doing little excursions.
We planned a little trip up the Thames to Greenwich… Next minute i see him in the club the night before and he ends up buying my drinks for me. There was a competition between 3 of my fellow flatmates to see who would land me in the sack first. However Jared was the only successful one. He ended up in my room and the deed was done. He then ended up in there every night. We went on dates, did our cute little excursions but we were not ‘together’. Me being 5 years his younger I let him make all the decisions until we were both comfortable in our situation.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Jared and I got closer and closer, I would happily call him my best friend. To customers at my work I referred to him as my boyfriend. He was after all, my shoulder to cry on and my go to hang out. We definitely had sex, and both of us enjoyed it. it took me a while to really get into it. He would always finish – multiple times but I never really did. Quickly he learnt what made me tick and fucked me to the point I was shaking and need (and definitely deserved) ice cream afterwards. I know it made him feel a lot more confident about himself when I finally started to properly enjoy myself. It was tricky keeping things hush hush, especially when I was given a roommate. We started watching a lot of “Harry Potter” so that the other flatties didn’t know what we were up to – although they all knew and were quite proud. Jared and I would have coffee every morning together, get the same days off work together, go on little trips together, cook together; he even cooked for me and put weeks worth of meals in my freezer for me. We talked about family, work, food, dogs… lots of different things. He knew all of my past and I knew his. However, things did not progress. the difficulty of both being on working holidays and travelling lots around Europe and our working visas ending at different times made him exceptionally cautious about taking it to any further level.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Jared and I always used condoms as when we started sleeping together i wasn’t on the pill. I went to the doctor and got a prescription and at the same time got checked for a few things and knew i’d be in the clear. His last partner was his first and he was also hers so I trusted that there wasn’t any concern with his sexual health. Its something we discused but mainly joked about.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? It was something that made our travelling experience great. Both of us being away from home made it really nice to have someone who could be ‘good company’.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Alcohol was involved in the initial hook up but we weren’t always drunk. We did enjoy the odd pint here and there as well as big nights out together but it wasn’t important in the relationship.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The hookup is yet to end and I’m trying to keep it going for as long as possible because I would rather be with him and lonely while he’s traveling than know i’ll have to be without him forever. It drives me insane and I know my heart will end up on the floor unless I actively throw the pieces at him. It is yet to end but we are ‘on a break’ while he travels around Scandinavia and while I’m in Spain. I just pray to god that he won’t look at anyone else because I only have eyes for him.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My whole flat ended up knowing, they thought it was very cute and gave him great props for ‘giving it to me good’. Our working managers knew through word of mouth but it became a little running joke. I told my sisters who worried at first that my wee heart would get broken and that he was using me for sex because he was very clear that he did not want something further but after explaining it to them i hope they understood it. My best girlfriend knew and loved how happy he made me but knew how sad I was going to be when it ends.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was consensual for both parties and we both reeeeally wanted it.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Definitely not. I’ve treasured my time with Jared.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was definitely having someone who was my home away from home. The worst was that I always wanted more and still do! I’ve had a casual ‘fuck buddy’ before and I always felt terrible afterwards and talked shit about him when he wasn’t around but this was different. It made me realise that I’m the type of person who is made for relationships and fun rather than sleeping around. I think sex is a great thing that is fun and brings people closer together. Its not something you should just use and abuse but something that when done right is a lot of fun.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
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