Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: Catholic
How religious are you? Somewhat
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 9
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? none
The Foreign Affair
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 year ago
How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? one-night stand
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I travel a lot and when I’m at my country and go out foreign guys seems to be physically attracted to me, I really don’t know why, so most of the time they are really different from each other.
Most of them I met them while traveling or just hanging around in my city, I can describe 2 guys.
One was so handsome, really tall with natural tan and grey eyes, he was kind of skinny but well shaped because he did a lot of surfing, he was so handsome that I didn’t even notice him, I mean when I met him I thought “hmm never mind you are out of my league”.
The other, he was a true viking, tall with a strong jaw line, deep blue eyes, gorgeous beard and a perfect smile, really amazing dancer, he spoke Spanish and was really excited to practice it with me (I’ve should married him when I had the chance hahaha kidding)
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Most of the time everything starts in the most innocent and normal way, they ask me about my country, how did I grew up, my travel stories, why I would prefer to live in my country and not in another, they ask me about the way I see myself in some years, about my dreams and passion in life… at some point it becomes really intimate but at the same time I tell them this stories that I wouldn’t tell anyone knowing that I may not see them again, so my most intimate secrets will be safe with them as I won’t see them again, I didn’t see this pattern before until the last guy I met, I was telling him why I like all these music and why I admire this groups and suddenly he kissed me.
Then I understood why I end up being with these foreign guys, I’m really scared of relationships and commitment but for one day or one week, depends how long this affair lasts, they think they know everything about me and feel a lot of passion because I’m really sincere with my feelings and I guess they don’t see that pretty often in girls, they want to posses in someway the passion that I have for life, all of the times they’ve instigated it, once a guy asked me to marry him while and after we hooked up for the first time, was kind of weird.
Because of traveling, the hookups end up being in hostels or in their apartments, never in my place, I don’t like that, it’s my place a place they won’t have, and it’s for precaution too, I know one night stands can be dangerous so I won’t risk the people I live with a guy that I might just met.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Just vaginal and sometimes kinky stuff, I feel fine, I’ve just had 2 orgasms in these kind of situations, most of the time they have orgasms, the foreign hookups are really romantic at some point, they behave really kind and like real gentleman’s because they really don’t know your culture and what will offend you so they are always asking if you feel fine and if it’s okay when it’s happening in the moment, eye contact and holding hands can be dangerous and weird because sometimes it transform the sex into something else.
They were good lovers, after that we just talk and make some jokes about our differences, most of the time it ends the next day with one of us leaving, saying goodbye with a strong and sad hug.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Condom, even if it’s awkward I always tell at the beginning that I’m clean and I don’t want to have babies and I plan to keep it that way so he better use a condom and no oral or anal sex.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? The rush of knowing I will just have one chance to be with this guy and that we might no see each other again because of the distance, and if there’s a possibility of meeting him in the future we both know that it will happen in some months or years so we need this time.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Alcohol… just 2 beers, I don’t like to make decisions when I’m drunk, if I do it is because I’m conscious and I like to enjoy the moment.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt fine but at the same time kind of sad, not because it was casual but because I knew that we really liked each other but it’s almost impossible to be with him again , I’ve tried long distance relationship and its really difficult, so I knew even if he wanted to be with me in the future I wouldn’t have another relationship like this.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? To my best friend and sister, we come from conservative families and they really don’t share the way I’ve experienced sex but they respect me, at the begging they are kind of shy to talk about it but then they get really interested and ask me every small detail and if I have photos of the guy.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No, because at the moment was what I wanted.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Like I wrote before I’m really scared of having a formal relationship so the best is having the best of both worlds for a day or maybe for weeks knowing they won’t stay or I would leave, the worst… I’m just running from commitment hooking up in situations that won’t lead me to anything well I will have a good time for a day or for weeks.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? Don’t fall in love the first night! if you find in a situation like the once I wrote avoid falling in love, the next thing you know you will be buying a flight ticket to cross an ocean, keep it casual and relax.
And if you decided to have a one night stand make sure someone knows where you are, nothing has happened to me but it’s better to prevent, don’t turn off your phone or if you are in a hostel somewhere in the world try to be friends with the front desk staff, it has always worked for me.
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