What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 29
What’s your race/ethnicity? South Asian
What continent do you live on? Australia
What country and/or city do you live in? South Yarra
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Muslim
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 3
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
The Frequent Flyer
How long ago did this hookup happen? Yesterday
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We met on Bumble. After a short witty exchange, he told me he was in town on a business trip and asked me out for a drink some time during the next week. I appreciated his directness, which was not pushy or sleazy. We set a date for 3 days’ time. I felt comfortable because I nominated the time and place (a city bar near his hotel that was quiet because it was a weeknight). I have never slept with anyone on the first date before, or even remotely close to the first date. But this time from the outset, the possibility of a hookup was always in the back of my mind as a possible (and welcome) outcome. After all, he was a frequent flyer on a business trip. He wasn’t my usual type (whatever that is) in terms of appearance, but the combination of background, words and pictures warmed me to him enough to want to meet up.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We chatted over a couple of drinks and the transition from introductions to talking about ourselves to touching fingers to brief peck on the lips to touching legs and then full on kissing before leaving the bar was smooth and seamless. The impending hookup was implied through body language and cues. We were both clearly into each other. He gave me choices at each step, and I ended up choosing to go back to his hotel room.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? As soon as we got back to his room, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. It began with lots of kissing and touching, then slowly shedding clothes and more foreplay. The usual, I suppose. He went down on me then I sucked on him briefly before I got on top and he came within a couple of minutes. I was in the mood again about half an hour later and we 69d for a bit. He thought he was ready but lost his erection as soon as he put the condom on, so that was the end of that. It was late and he had work the next day, so I suggested we get some sleep and decided to stay the night in his room.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He’s back in town next week and asked if I wanted to catch up again. I said ok. We haven’t exchanged socials at all. He doesn’t even know my surname, but I guess since we are potentially casually dating, it’s not a super important piece of information to give. I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but I’ll be happy to let this one-night stand turn into a short fling. He seemed really responsive, courteous and respectful, so I’m fine with seeing where this goes.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one…yet. Will prob tell a close friend who I feel comfortable talking about this stuff with
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The ease of it all, without us having to really state the obvious. It was a smooth, enjoyable experience which I wouldn’t mind having again with this person.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I was a tiny bit disappointed with his lack of stamina, but didn’t take it personally, and wouldn’t hold it against him at all. There was so much else that was right enough for me to want to see him again.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, I learned more about myself and what I’m comfortable with. If you told me five years ago that I’d sleep with someone within hours of meeting them, I’d be shocked. But it’s been really enjoyable to figure out my boundaries and harness my ‘high’ sex drive (so both my exes have claimed). My hookup partner and I are both really busy people. For me, this casual thing suits my current lifestyle and desire not to get too emotionally invested too soon, even though I consider myself a sensitive empathetic person who wants a monogamous committed relationship eventually (past 6-7 months have been spent getting over a long term relationship plus a shorter relationship with a longtime friend).
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? If it’s done for the right reasons and with respect and courtesy, it can be really positive as it was in my case. I felt super comfortable and in control thanks to his relaxed demeanour.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Good idea to get conversations happening and remove stigma
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!