by Vio

Gender: Male
Age: 24
Race/ethnicity: South Asian/ Indian
Location: Mumbai, India
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
Occupation: Student, Intern
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: Jainism
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

The Friend You Lust For

How long ago did this hookup happen? Over a year

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? One-night-stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We were classmates in college. We’d been good friends for 6 years, and she had dated a friend for mine for 2 -3 years during college. However, it’d been 2 years since they broke up and my friend had moved on to a new relationship about a year before I hooked up with her.
When I initially met her, there was a spark. I think we both were attracted to each other. Some people though we might start dating. But nothing as such happened. I fell for another girl and she dated another guy.
We became good friends and used to hang out a lot. We became buddies. I was attracted to her and lusted for her a bit, but over the years she became a buddy, and I didn’t think much of her either sexually or romantically. I guess that latent desire for her, there was some sexual pull I sometimes had towards her that came to the fore that night.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We’d gone clubbing that night with few other friends. That’s where it all happened. After a few drinks we all wanted to dance. 
I had just had a bad break up and was heartbroken. I was looking for something casual, and I’d hooked up casually with a couple of girls in the past 2 months or so. 
But I had no plan or intention of ever doing anything with her. None whatsoever. We started dancing, but always we dance as friends, keeping some distance. But this time I sensed that she was taking some liberties with me and being a bit bold. Somewhat semi-grinding.
I thought for a second if I should go with this. And I decided okay, if she’s fine, I’m fine. (Not trying to act a saint, but I don’t think I’d done the same a year ago, I’d have pulled away, I think the heartbreak I was going through made me give less of a f*ck) 
So we started dirty dancing, I took her away from our group of friends, and away from them we got more hands on. Then I kissed her on the neck and then made out. 
I asked her if she’s ok with this? and she smirked back at me as said, ‘ it’s ok, stuff like this happens’. I think that heartbreak combined with a latent sexual desire for her culminated into this.
So, I’d say she started by taking a few liberties with me, but I was the bold one once I decided to go with it. She was being a bit physical and playful, but I’d took it to a more serious encounter.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We made out and got hands on in the club. Then we all left. She was walking with me, holding hands. And she was walking just fine, with her heels on. We had liquor in us, but we were not too drunk, just high. 
Then in the car I kissed her, She’d worn a skirt, so I placed my hand on her thighs, but she’d still keep talking. But as I moved more up, she was quiet and rested her head on the seat. I’d say I fingered her, then I took her top off and her bra and massaged her breasts for the rest of her ride, while fingering her as well. I occasionally made out with her, and kissed her back and neck.
Even without the intercourse this was the best experience I had, the most fun. I feel we have a good sexual chemistry and even otherwise, but I’m not romantically into her. She had an orgasm, I didn’t (no oral, or intercourse for me). She was more shy throughout in my opinion.
We had a driver for the car, so the vehicle was in motion all along, but he never got to know anything, and we didn’t talk or be loud so that he wouldn’t find out. And it was her car.
It was an hour long drive to her house. We stayed close to each other.
My house came first and I gave her a kiss and told her good bye. She didn’t say anything. In India, we live with our parents even as adults, so there is no chance for me to go to her house or take her to mine.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? No oral or intercourse, not a planned encounter. No need for precautions.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Heartbroken plus a latent desire for her. The mood was right, it felt right, she was willing. Things got serious.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Yes, we had some alcohol. We were high in the club. But it wore off when we left , I’d say we were a bit buzzed.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Nothing, I had fun, I enjoyed, I believe so did she, it was mutual. I hoped to have another encounter with her, while being friends at the same time.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My trainer, I didn’t reveal her identity though. Just talked about the experience. 
He laughed a lot, giving me this, you’re a player look.
I went to take a call, and returned to the gym 2 minutes later and he was still laughing about it to himself.
I seem innocent and a ‘nice guy’ (whatever that is) to most people.
That was his opinion of me too. 
He told me I’ve a devil’s mind, and laughing as he said that. 
(Point to remember is, in India, casual sex is not very common, even in the big cities. Indians are far less liberal than most western countries)

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was consensual. As I said, I think we both were always attracted to each other all those years.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? She regrets it. I tried to initiate sex with her a few months later. But she resisted and even cried later. I think she must have never done anything casual. And she felt it was wrong, she’s always had strong reservations about casual sex, from what I’d known of her. I thought she changed her mind, but no, she regretted it, and cried even.
I hated seeing that. Made me feel wrong as well. We were awesome friends, really. Friendship ended. 
Even though it was my best sexual experience. I wish to undo that. 
I feel I shouldn’t have pursued matters with her. Lost a  good friend. I think most women have an inherent dislike for casual. They subsequently regret stuff, even though they’re into it while its happening. 
I’m not a saint, but I don’t believe in hurting people, let alone a friend of mine. Seeing her cry was painful. And losing a friend too.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Best thing was that this girl I always had a latent desire for, I was finally hooking up with her. And it was fun, the experience was great. the best one.
The worst thing is I lost a good friend. However, I feel she will realise that I’m not alone responsible for it and that because I slept with her doesn’t mean I don’t care about her.
I wished me on my birthday recently. I think we will patch up sooner or later. But even though the sex was amazing, it wasn’t worth it.
What I learnt, is that even though a girl is happily, willing and enthusiastically sleeping with you. She can still regret it. Alcohol or no alcohol, girls can regret sex (another girl, I’d slept with and kinda knew her, also regretted it, there was no alcohol involved this time). I almost decided to never to do anything casual again. But, you know, what you gonna do when a pretty girl is willing, it’s not always easy to say no.
But I made one change, earlier, if a girl was unsure and in the maybe area, I would try and convince her to sleep with me. I took it as a challenge to convince her. I thought it was just some reservation, that needed to be worked around. I’d never try to make her too conscious about it, with the fear that she might change her mind.
Now, I make very sure, sometimes even I ask the girl in clear terms if she thinks she will regret it, When a girl tells me she’s not sure, I tell her it’s ok and she doesn’t have to, and if she’s feeling wrong, nothing has to happen. I tell her I won’t do anything if she’s not 100% sure and offer to drop her home. I don’t try to talk her into it. If she’s going to feel wrong, she better feel wrong now, not later and regret it. I don’t enjoy hurting people. It has to be a fun memory for both of us. 
But, after this experience, I had another experience, where the girl was having doubts if she wanted to, I told her, if she’s not sure nothing has to happen. She suddenly decided after that. That she’s sure about it, and we had sex then.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? She blamed me for everything, that’s funny to me. Some women can’t take the idea that they are sexual too sometimes. 
I’m not saying men are perfect, but most people in general don’t own up to their sexual side.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!