by arabella

Gender: f
Age: 18
Race/ethnicity: British
Location: UK
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Occupation: student
Relationship status: single
Religious affiliation: christian
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

The Hilariously Disastrous Story Of My First Time

How long ago did this hookup happen? 9 months ago

How would you best classify this hookup? Awkward short fling

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We met on my 18th birthday in a popular nightclub in my hometown (I live and study in a city about an hour away, but whenever I’m home for holidays we go to this club). We kissed but didn’t exchange names or anything, but I remembered him because he struck me from the first moment I saw him. Then I saw him a couple more times over the months after that in the same nightclub, and we managed to drunkenly introduce ourselves and exchange numbers. Each time I saw him he’d forgotten he’d met me because he was always completely wasted – not a great start. I ended up at his flat party one night after the club and we got on so well, we had such a laugh together as if we’d been friends for years. I had a massive crush on him and we both admitted how into each other we were – although very drunkenly and awkwardly and he probably forgot he told me anything.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The next time I see him out again, he invites me back to his flat party again (he lived in a student flat just around the corner from the club) where we ended up in his bedroom and, one thing leading to another, I agreed to have sex with him – my first time. He was the one to suggest it, but he didn’t pressure me. I was drunk and felt like I was in love with him and everything was incredibly romantic so I wanted to.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? It was good for a while; strangely intimate and truly nothing like I would have expected, or have ever experienced since, of a one night stand. He made me feel comfortable and happy – until he rolled over and completely fell asleep. The sort of sleep only induced by about 30 units of alcohol, and I could not wake him up again at all. He didn’t even come (and neither did I), he just fell asleep. So I thought I’d just leave him alone and go back into the club where all my friends were wondering where the hell I’d gone, and I left a note to say “wow, you’re asleep, haha cute, ok bye” or something along those lines, and then (as I am an art student) decided to illustrate my note with a drawing of him sleeping. And I went back into the club.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We used a condom but it might have come off. It was a complete disaster. I took the morning after pill the next day just in case because I was freaking out and asked him after about STI history, but we were both clean.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? We were drunk and into each other

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Yes, far too much alcohol

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He texted me the next day to ask what happened last night (classic, he couldn’t remember it) and I nearly had a nervous breakdown before he apologised and asked to meet up with me. We hooked up a couple times after the first (he fell asleep a total of 3 times during sex on different occasions, truly amazing) and we were brinking on seeing each other until he suddenly stopped talking to me because he’d got a girlfriend. After all I’ve put up with with him, for some reason i still care about him. I’ve never really got on so intimately with someone as I did with him, and I miss just talking to him if anything. (I definitely don’t miss the sleeping, although it is pretty hilarious in retrospect). He seems very happy with his new girl though. I’ve seen him twice after we stopped talking in the same nightclub and we’ve still got the same easy, jokey relationship, just without the chemistry anymore.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My closest friends. We still make jokes about the sleeping but none of them like him because he’s messed me round so much, and pretty much all of them were disappointed or disapproving about what I’d done. They can’t understand why I would still want to talk to him. I don’t really understand it either.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes, we both wanted it

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? In a way I regret it, because after all this time I still feel like I’m stuck on him – we never really were anything, but we still had something. It was just too messy because I only met him sober once; perhaps if we hadn’t met in the nightclub we would have had a more successful relationship. But to a greater extent I don’t mind that it happened, because I get a kick out of how badly everything went and it’s funny. A great introduction to sex. I’ve had a few more funny sexual partners since him, and I wouldn’t have these stories to tell of my abysmally awkward sex life if it hadn’t all started with this one. I have a mellow sense of humour.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was how close to him I was and how safe I felt with him; I’ve never felt as peaceful with anyone as i have with him. The worst was the sleeping, and the general emotional repercussions of never really getting closure.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative

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