Current location: UK
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 74 (51 men, 23 women)
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
The Need To Contribute…
How long ago did this hookup happen? 22 hours (19th aug 2014)
How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? One-night stand (45 minutes!)
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? After reading about the ‘Casual Sex Project’ a few months ago in a national UK newspaper, I have since found myself checking out this website many times a day to read about the very many varied narratives posted here. This has been a huge turn on for me and I have found myself getting extremely excited by some of them and disgusted and upset at many more. I admit to crying at one or two tales in particular. I love swapping stories on-line and in person with men and women about past sexual shenanigans, and having been involved in casual hook-ups over the past 10 years, I can say I have quite a few to share. I have wanted to contribute for a while, but haven’t been sure where to begin. But, after reading through one too many stories yesterday afternoon (19th august 2014) whilst bored at work, and not having had sex in 3 weeks, I thought I’d organise a hook-up with the sole purpose of writing about it for this project! So the ‘Casual Sex Project’ actually created this experience, I wonder if that was factored into the university ethics procedure or the impact strategy for the research outcomes?!
So after getting turned on when reading the latest posts, I downloaded Grindr (hook up/dating app for men) for the millionth time to see if I could arrange something to write about. I prefer sex with women, but find women are less likely to meet up for casual sex in an afternoon. Although I have slept with half a dozen women I have met on sex sites, but this usually requires a bit more planning and many more messages/rapport to be built up. So when the need arises I sleep with men. This has been going on and off for ten years (before smart phones it was purely internet based websites from a home computer) and out of the many men I have been with, I have only met 2 men who I have ever wanted to meet again. I tend to use it as a self-harming device, and have realised I can have sex with just about anyone without feeling anything at the time. It is almost like I am somewhere else, watching my own self do these things. I delete the app after a few different hook-ups when I feel disgusted at my behaviour and vow never to do it again, I always come back.
So after about 20 minutes of the app downloading, I had been chatting to a few guys with little success. Casual sex with men is fraught with complications and likes/dislikes so sometimes it’s like fishing, you fail to get a bite and have to admit it’s not going to happen and to try again another day. I was just warming up, so hadn’t reached this stage just yet and I then began chatting to a guy who had just finished work. It was 17:15 by this time.
He was roughly my type and I wanted him as my cock twitched when I saw him and I had that warm feeling inside, a mixture of excitement and lust, when I know I am close to a hook-up with a guy or girl I find attractive and am not just doing it for the sake of it. I like men to be equally my size or smaller, younger, thin and slightly feminine or weak looking, ‘Twink’ or ‘geek’ I suppose would be the various ‘types’ in the gay world. We shopped more initial messages about what we were after and what we wanted, fun e.g. a causal hook-up (tick) ASAP (tick) he wanted to bottom I wanted to top (tick) he could accommodate (tick). He then sent me some more face photos (tick) and then he proceeded send me a cock pic (tick). All good so far.
Now while I am OK looking I am not super attractive. I weigh about 12 stone (roughly 170 pounds or 76 kgs) am unfit and at 5ft 8, (175cms) in height, not that tall. I also have an average body and slightly stooped shoulders, and with receding hair, so I have to work hard to get results, my personality works for me more than my looks in ‘real life’ and generally it is never a problem, I have actually dated beautiful women way out of my league, and can never quite understand why. But this is the online world, so unfortunately hook-ups aren’t based on personality. So I have to rely on other things, especially with men. My uncut 7.5 inches (19.5 cms) long and 5 inches (12cm) round uncut cock has got me laid alone with men more times than I can remember. Even when I am not a guys ‘type’, my ‘perfect’ size cock (I’ve still no idea why it’s perfect size btw) does the work for me. So I knew once this guy saw my cock, he would more or less be up for meeting.
Now I had to take some cock pics as I don’t store any on my phone, so I sent him a face pic and whilst doing this, I read another few hook up stories just to get in the mood, and then when I felt I was looking at my best I sent them. He said he wanted it very badly (tick) and gave me his home address (final tick) and told me head over to his house. He needed to shower, so asked if I could make sure I was at his house in about 20 mins, so I suggested why not make it 18:00 to give me time to pack up my work things as I was heading to a meeting the next day in some other city. This would mean a total time of roughly 50 minutes from initial message to meeting up, fast work but just what I needed. I asked him if he owned a jockstrap and he sent me a photo of him in one, this almost sent me over the edge. I asked if he would wear it for me and answer the door, wearing just this and a T-Shirt. He agreed. He also mentioned if I would like to use poppers (alkyl nitrites/liquid chemicals) with him, having never tried it for sex, (I have sniffed it once of twice at festivals) I was game. He also told me he liked his nipples and balls pulled, hard. I am not into this sort of thing at all, but thought I’d cross that bridge when I came to it. So after closing down my computer, I locked up my office and headed to the nearest bathroom. I washed my cock (I always like to be clean) used some mouth wash and sprayed some deodorant on to freshen up. Luckily I had these things on me in my overnight bag for the trip I would take, after hooking up with this guy. I popped a chewing gum into my mouth (this is part of my pre hook-up routine, I hate bad breath and nerves can dry the mouth out, so I always chew gum prior to meeting) and walked to my car, messaging him once more that I was on my way and to make sure he was wearing the jockstrap. I knew the road he lived on, so didn’t need to use my satnav. I was nervous and asked myself why I was doing this AGAIN. I was fighting with myself mentally as I drove around to his house, trying to fight against the horniness and drive the other way, the way I should logically have been going. However, my hand kept squeezing my cock and I kept thinking of the hot guy waiting for me in that jock. I pulled up outside his house, which being on a main road, was very busy place. I left my wallet in my car (another pre hook-up ritual) and took one more look in the mirror, took a deep breath and got out. I walked down the path and my heart was beating fast, again I asked myself, why was I doing this?
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? As outlined above hookup came about directly from Grindr, but indirectly via me reading stories from the Casual Sex Project. I never told my hook up about the website/project. We planned it via an exchange of messaged over the course of about 20/30 minutes, and asked what we both liked disliked. I sent the first message, he gave me his address and invited me over.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? As I got to the front door, I noticed it was slightly ajar, a good sign we were going to get on as he had done as I had asked. As I stepped in and closed the door, he was standing in the hallway in a black and red jockstrap and stripy T-Shirt, again just as I had asked him to. He came towards me and we started kissing in the hallway. He forced his tongue into my mouth and it was like kissing a washing machine, I had to bite his tongue and lip to slow him down a bit. I could also taste his breath, which was stale. We kept kissing as I struggled to take off my jacket (I was wearing a striped shirt, jeans, black tight boxers, shoes and a jacket) and grabbed at his cock in his jockstrap to see if he was already hard, he was. After a few more minutes of frantic, awful kissing, I said, ‘shall we go upstairs’, to which he replied ‘oh yes’ and led me by the hand upstairs to his bedroom. The house was a total mess and full of boxes and clutter. He said he had only recently moved in, but it’s very still bad form to invite someone around for sex, but not to have the place clean. The bedroom was more of the same, with clothes and plates/cups on the floor. I was like man, this is not good a indication for what is to come.
We continued to kiss standing up next to his bed (a double bed with worn but not dirty looking sheets) and the kissing had slowed down a bit from his washing machine antics, but not that much for me to enjoy it. I kept feeling his cock through his jock and teasing him. I unbuttoned my shirt as I stood there and he kissed my neck and chest as more buttons were undone. I threw it on the floor and attempted to push him back on to the bed so I could sit and take off my shoes and jeans, he had other ideas and got down on his knees and undid my belt, unzipped my jeans and pulled down my tight black boxers. If I knew I was going to meet a guy I would have worn better underwear, so he had to put up with midweek ones! He smiled up as me as he took my cock in his hand and then started to suck it, not bad I thought, bit less teeth I muttered as he began to deep throat it, but couldn’t due to the girth of it. I pulled him off and pushed him onto the bed. So I could lie down and take off my shoes and jeans. As I was attempting to do this, he reached over grabbed the bottle of poppers (alkyl nitrites/liquid chemicals) and took a bit sniff. Not wanting to go through the rest of this experience sober, I took a few sniffs. The feeling was so intense, I thought my head would explode and it was as if we were both possessed by something. We went at each other and I felt like I wanted him so badly I would die if I didn’t. It really was that intense and overpowering. I had heard sex on poppers was good as a relaxant for anal sex, but I never thought it created this type of horniness.
During this buzz, he sucked me like a champion and as if he had wanted my cock for ever. I pulled him off my cock and kissed him back passionately. I now realise that he must have been sniffing it before I entered the front door, hence his tongue exploits downstairs in the hall. It started to wear off and we sniffed some more, this time helping each other sniff the liquid by holding the bottle up and pressing one nostril closed. Off we went again and I tore off his t-shirt and started pulling on his nipples and balls as he had requested. I also pulled his cock out of one side of his jock and sucked it greedily for a few minutes, I couldn’t concentrate on it for long though with the buzz going around my head from the poppers and we kept swopping positions. In the end I just groaned and I said I wanted to be in him. I lay back alongside him and pulled him on top of me. He started to dry hump me and I moved my cock under his bottom, so it was behind him as he straddled me. He was still wearing the jock-strap and was riding me pretty crazily. He reached for the poppers again and we took another big sniff and then things began to get a bit hazier and I got a bit overwhelmed. He grabbed a condom and with my cock behind him, reached back and slid it on (I am 99% sure he put it on, but as I cant remember taking the condom off, as the head rush from the poppers was so much, I can’t be sure) he then slid my cock into him. He started to ride me, and I think we took another sniff of the poppers. I can’t really remember much more after this for the next few minutes as I just came over so hot and felt enormously horny, I know he was riding me really fast and I told him I was going to climax, he said he was too and told me to go for it, taking his own cock out of his jock strap and wanking/jerking himself as he rode me. I came quite quickly after this and whilst still inside him, he shot his load all over my stomach and up my chest. He rolled off and we lay there panting on the bed next to each other, I thought I was going to faint and the room was spinning. I couldn’t speak and this is where I thought I might or might not have taken the condom off. I literally thought I was going to either throw up or pass out. I took some deep breaths and kept saying ‘oh my god’ and ‘fucking hell’. The other guy was in very much the same state and when we finally collected ourselves, looked at each other and laughed. I caught my breath and explained that had been my first time having sex and using chemicals.
After sex, he got up and got me a towel to wipe the cum off my chest and cock and I asked for a glass of water as my mouth was dry and this gave me a few minutes to collect myself without him around. He came back to bed with the water and lay down next to me. We began chatting and holding hands, which I didn’t feel that weird about doing, as it had all been such a intense experience. We started chatting about work and other hooks ups, (standard practice with men or women you meet for online sex I find) and my plans for the week. After awhile he got off the bed and took off his jock strap, intending I think, to put on some other clothes. I had started to play with my cock again and was fully hard within a few minutes, so I asked him if he had to get dressed and to come back and join me for round 2. He laughed and said, well ok, but maybe just a wank, to which I said fine. We lay there kissing, both naked this time, and he started to wank me, he built up quite a speed, but whilst I was horny and rock solid, I realised I ain’t that young anymore, so said I said it was time to stop.
Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I came inside my partner as he rode me, he came shortly after, all over my chest. One very intense orgasm each.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? This question always puzzles me when I read it, if you admit to having an STI you are probably not going to get laid? Also it kind of kills the mood! But we discussed and used condoms (I think) and there was no risk of pregnancy being two men. We didn’t discuss STI history, but I am clean.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I wanted to write about a fresh hook up for the Casual Sex Project.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Poppers (alkyl nitrites/liquid chemicals), lots. It gave me a throbbing headache afterwards and nearly 24 hours later, I still have it.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the failed second wank, we kissed for a bit (his breathe didn’t concern me that much now after all the crazy stuff that had gone on) and I said I had to leave to drive to this other city where I was staying with friend for my meeting which was in the morning. He pulled on a robe, I used the bathroom, came back in got dressed and met him downstairs. We kissed again and I said we should do this again, and asked if he used whatsapp. He said he did and said he would message me his number, which he did. I haven’t messages him yet. I left the house and climbed into my car, it was 18:45, only 45 minutes had passed since I went into his house, just over 90 minutes since we had first exchanged messages.
I don’t really know why I did, politeness I expect. I feel like I do with 99% of my hook-ups, empty. Empty inside. I don’t feel dirty with this guy, just disappointed with myself for doing it and causing myself pain and a little bit of disgust.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I haven’t talked to anyone, I never do.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes for both of us.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? As with all my hook-ups yes, I regret it. I regret that I do this and regret that I haven’t got someone in my life that I can feel enough for to stop this sort of thing. I have cheated on every girlfriend (I will never have a bf and I don’t see men being in my life that way) I have ever had, both with women and men. I have had counselling to discuss the issue/problem, but I think I need more therapy to understand why I continue to do this and put myself at risk.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Best – I get to contribute to this project
Worst- The headache I still have the poppers. and the fact that I cant remember taking off a condom, do doubts exist if we used one.
No it hasn’t changed how I feel, still feel empty.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? I think this project is a great way to store people’s own narratives about sex in many different forms. Apart from one couple sharing both their experience via two posts, the experiences shared so far are one way tales. It would be nice to get more different takes on the same incident.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!