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What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 74
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? New York
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Consultant
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 120
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

The New Secretary

How long ago did this hookup happen? 36 years ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (open)

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was slim and attractive with light brown hair. She had been my secretary for a few months. I was attracted to her but did not flirt with her or make suggestive comments.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Several of the people who reported to me and I were having a few drinks at a local restaurant after work. My secretary and I drifted away from the rest of the group. At that point, she said, “If we are going to have sex, no one in the company must know”. I suggested we spend the night at my weekend house an hour away. Off we went.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We spent the night at my summer house. We had oral and vaginal sex before we slept together and also when we woke up. She was great. There was not much talking. In the morning we returned to the company.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? She decided not to continue the relationship since I was married. We did spend one other night together at her apartment years later when I was separated.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s)

How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Only my wife at the time, since we had an open marriage. I also told the story to my current wife.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The surprise.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? There was nothing bad

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? No

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Having had an open marriage with my first wife and for years with my second wife, I am a believer in casual sex.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Very interesting

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!