Race/ethnicity: White British
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: Anglo-Catholic
How religious are you? Somewhat
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 10
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
The Perfect Rebound
How long ago did this hookup happen? 4 months ago
How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Fuck buddies
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I had met him in freshers week five months previously and we had got on really well but we were both in serious relationships at the time so we were just friends. He was tall with blonde hair and a good body as he played American football and rugby. He was ridiculously clever and had got a place at oxford uni but turned it down.
We didn’t really keep in touch after freshers week but in January I split up with my long term boyfriend and he split up with his girlfriend.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We bumped into each other in February at a university event. We were both already drunk and when we discovered that both of us were single now it didn’t take him long to kiss me and ask if I wanted to go back to his.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We both gave each other oral sex. We had sex and he was really good in bed, better than the guy that I had recently broken up with. After we had sex we chatted for a while about all sorts of things and had a catch up about what had happened since we last saw each other. We then had sex every Saturday after the club night at the Student Union for the next month until we decided that it was getting to the stage where it was either going to turn into a relationship which neither of us wanted or it would end.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? I made him use a condom due to the fact we didn’t know each other that well and I was also on the pill already. I didn’t ask about his STI history as I didn’t think it was my business if he was using a condom.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was lonely after having been in a long term relationship with my ex and wanted to be intimate with someone without going straight into a new relationship. It was comforting to know that he was in the same frame of mind as me because I didn’t feel I was taking advantage of him.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? The first time, we were both quite drunk but still sober enough to give consent. After that neither of us were drunk any times but we had drunk small amounts of alcohol.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We parted on happy terms and I don’t regret it as it was amazing sex which really boosted my self esteem after splitting with my ex.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked to my flatmates and some of my coursemates about it. My coursemates thought it was great and they were happy I had found a way of feeling better that wasn’t hurting anyone. My flatmates were surprised as two of them were on the same course as him but soon they kept trying to push us into a relationship not understanding why it was no strings attached.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was consensual for both of us.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No. I’ve had 2 one night stands in the past before and hated myself afterwards, this felt different because neither of us was taking advantage of the other.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? This was the first time I’d slept with someone more than once without it being a relationship. It made me realise I’m ok with sex not being in a relationship. Best thing: The intimacy and self esteem boost i received. Worst thing: having people think I was a slut for having casual sex multiple times without a relationship.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
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