What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 20s
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Canada
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your current relationship status? Single
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How long ago did this hookup happen? About a month ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? A couple of my friends and I went to the bar. I had just gone through a breakup and my friends who are very pro one-night-stands suggested I have a casual “rebound.” I had never hooked up with somebody I had just met and would probably never see again and was curious to see what it was like.
We met in the back of the bar. Both of us were dancing and it just clicked. We started making out and were together for most of the night until he asked me if I wanted to go home with him. Deciding to just go with it I agreed and we left together.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? When we got back to his place we sat in his kitchen and talked for a while. We actually had really good conversations and I soon learned that he was working as a TA for one of the courses I would have to take the next year. In a way that made the whole thing a lot more scandalous and fun. Eventually he asked me if we should take this to his room and I agreed.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Things moved pretty fast. He turned on some music and told me that he was just going to the washroom and when he was back all my clothes had to be off. He was very rough, which was something I wasn’t used to. I told him that I was trying to remove my choker and he told me that he could replace it with his hand. I learned a lot of things that I liked and didn’t like but generally the sex was ok. We actually had some pretty deep life chats, he was a cool guy. Also learned a lot about my program… lol. We had sex twice that night and I gave him oral sex in between. I felt so sexy and empowered, like I had so much power over him.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He asked me to sleep there that night but I preferred to go home so he called me a cab and waited with me outside until it came. We swapped numbers but I haven’t talked to him since. I never really wanted to have a connection afterwords.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, To cheer myself up
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told my roommates and they were all pretty excited. It was something that I do not normally do so they were glad that I got to experience it.
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It gave me the chance to experience and decide if one-night-stands were right for me.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? There really wasn’t anything bad about it, but I do prefer to be intimate with someone.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It definitely has changed the way I feel about casual sex. I don’t think it is a terrible thing. if its right for you you’ll know and sometimes the best way to find out is to experience it for yourself. Everyone may has different experiences that shape our ideals about it.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think in society it should be shamed less.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Great idea!
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