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What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 28
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Seattle
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Engineer
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? anything goes for me
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 3
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

The Scott Pilgrim One-Night-Stand

How long ago did this hookup happen? 9

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met this partner at college. We both lived on the same apartment floor on campus. She lived next door to some friends of mine. I would visit them often at the other end of the hall.
She was overweight, but she was pretty. We were interested in the same kinds of things and she seemed to be interested in me. I had never spoken to her before this night and didn’t know who she was. I met her through my mutual friends when we all went to watch a movie in their room, which was Scott Pilgrim. I thought she was okay.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Her roommate kept coming out and giving us shots. After the fact, it became clear that she was trying to get her roommate laid. I remember having to give my friend really strong hints to leave, to the point where I think I had to just tell him to leave. I ended up looking into her eyes and giving her a kiss and she was really responsive. She moaned and pressed herself against me. After the movie was over I asked if she wanted to go back to my room since my roommates were gone, and she agreed.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? She seemed a little hesitant at first, but she instigated it forward. She told me she was worried that was just a one-night stand and wanted to make sure we would hang out afterwards. I told her I would definitely with all of the intention in the world. After that it led straight into penetrative sex. Afterwards she went down on me a bit but stopped quickly because of the taste of the condom. She stayed over and we slept the night together. During the night we had sex again but this time unprotected. She was okay at sex, it seemed clear that she was pretty inexperienced. My self confidence was really low at the time because it had been a long time (2-3 years) since I had a relationship and a sexual partner. She said,”I’ve never been with a guy with such defined muscles,” as she rubbed my muscles. I had been obsessively exercising and eating well for years up to this point. I’ve never had such a self esteem boost like that since – it was such a tremendous help for my mental health.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The next morning we got up after having barely slept (small tiny twin dorm room beds..), we watched an episode of Pokemon. She was talking a lot, using slang trying sound cool. I remember feeling pretty annoyed.
The very next day my friends who lived next door to her asked me repeatedly if I had spent the night with her. Before I could respond they then repeatedly told me how terrible of an idea it was to start a relationship with her and that I should avoid her. They mentioned several times over that she was “loose” and always tried to be with guys. I didn’t agree with that and didn’t know why they were saying that (but I didn’t say that). I also felt like I was going to lose what were my only friends at college if I continued seeing this partner, so I didn’t. I also lied and said I did not go home with her.

I reached out a couple of times but never seriously. She reached out once then kind of stopped. We saw each other a couple of times and awkwardly waved and walked off.

I deeply regret not following through and getting to know her better. I was a small person and I made a selfish decision out of fear. I tell myself I did it because I would not have sought a full relationship with this partner, but only sexual, and that I was saving her heartache by not leading her on. But I told her I would, and I am a liar. I should also have communicated my intentions up front.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, Condoms, I don’t know if my partner was on any (other) method

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? As mentioned above, I got some bad reactions and I lied about it happening.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively negative

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat

Why do you regret this hookup? I regret how I reacted after, but I don’t regret the hookup itself.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The spontaneity and desire we both shared. The pure ecstasy of exploring someone’s body when you literally just met.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? How I reacted after and how shitty my friends were towards this person.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It made me be more honest about intentions and to not take what my friends say about other people at face value.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I wish it was more accepted, and that I could get over some personal barriers about it. I wish I was a stronger person as I’m starting to think monogamy isn’t for me. A part of me thinks more infrequent sex with partners would be better than the marital environment where it almost seems like a duty.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s very positive.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!