What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 42
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Self employed
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? High sex drive
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 15
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

The Sex Friend

How long ago did this hookup happen? 8 months ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Been married for a long time to an older man who I love very much. Sex stopped. Tried everything from begging, to sexy outfits, toys, role play ideas…nothing. So I decided if I didn’t find something I might end up in a psych ward. Looked online for months before finding someone who wanted and needed just what I did.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We chatted a few days ….shared rules that we thought were essential, shared pics, sexted a bit and found that we both were looking for the same thing so we agreed to a public meeting place to make sure we both liked what we saw….it was on!

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? There was an intense mutual attraction-we played that night. Gave him oral and ended up having sex (albeit in a car) right then. He completely blew me away. Never felt that kind of attraction, connection, freedom to be myself without judgement…best sex I ever had…we agreed to meet again.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the first night, we agreed to meet again at a hotel this time….we both came several times….since then we have role played, some little BDSM…sometimes rough sometimes soft and slow but all incredibly amazing sex. We have no expectations…both love our spouses…we get together to meet needs and leave…we do both care about what we have found…but stick to our rules of no names no personal info (some has come out as a matter of necessity) no dates just sex.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Sterilization

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, To feel more desirable, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Submission / Relinquishing power

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? We told no one. We do not know any of the same people or even each other

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Satisfying a very specific need. And it’s still ongoing ….I don’t know how long it will last but plan to enjoy it while it does

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Finding the time to connect and privacy.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It’s has changed everything….he makes me feel desired, very wanted and sexy.. I have a new found confidence for sure….have tried many things with him that I only ever fantasized about.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? As a woman I don’t think this kind of arrangement is for everyone…it has had its rough spots which took time and lots of communications to keep it working if that makes sense. The no personal info is a big help in that it guards you and your feelings from becoming involved which I can picture could happen since sex for us is very much tied to our emotions.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Causal sex can be liberating…it’s like a fantasy in which you can be whatever role you want…like submissive slutty or whatever and there haven’t been any repercussions per se because he doesn’t know who I really am…it’s just hot intense sex.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Appears to be helping people find answers or at least talk about it.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!