by Carrie
Gender: Female

Age: 24
Race/ethnicity: White
Location: Virginia
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Occupation: PhD Student
Religious affiliation: Athiest
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

college-graduation

The Undergrad TA

How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 month ago

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I knew him for a year before we hooked up. He was the undergrad TA (senior) for a lab that I was the graduate TA for when I was getting my Master’s degree. We remained professional in the classroom. Some times we stayed after class and talked/flirted. There was a clear, mutual attraction. Before we hooked up, I always found him attractive physically. His personality and demeanor were not particularly attractive to me. He was hot and he knows it. He comes off as a little cocky.

He is short… maybe 5’8″ with very symmetrical facial features. Really nice smile, and he smiles a lot. Very athletic build. Dresses well.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? After he defended his undergrad thesis, he was going out to a popular bar. My girl friends had planned on going to the same bar that night as well. My friends and I pre-gamed a little too much. We show up to the bar and he and I spent the whole night together. I was so drunk, I don’t think I even noticed the other people around us. We made out, a lot. We danced. He said a lot of dirty things. I remember thinking how sexy he was. Then his friend drove us back to my place, which is where we hooked up.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We started to have sex and I started to cry a little. I just broke up with my boyfriend of a year not too long before. I didn’t really love the guy I broke up with, but I felt like I was wrong for hooking up with someone so soon after.

He immediately stopped and catered to me and really wanted to make sure that I was okay. I guess that worked because next thing you know we are having sex again. He really took charge and was on top most of the time. I didn’t feel much emotionally about it, mainly because I was drunk. But I really liked it. He came, I didn’t. But I never come. Then we fell asleep.

A few days later he came over again and we hooked up sober. We had sex twice that night. It was really amazing. He is a VERY good lover. Super intimate. After sex we made out for a really long time and he was super affectionate. He commented a lot on my physical appearance. It seemed like he really loved my body. He also said a lot of deeper things… like that I was marriage material and he can’t believe he got to hook up with me. But he didn’t mean it in a weird way or a very serious he-wants-to-marry-me kind of way. He also said something like he always wanted me to break up with my boyfriend so he could have a chance, but he is kind of glad I didn’t because I would have been a huge distraction. He just seemed all around elated. We were both graduating and going different ways. I made it clear that I didn’t want anything serious and neither did he. And that was the last time we hooked up. We are still friends.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We took no precautions and we didn’t discuss STI history at all. I took the morning after pill (which I had never taken in my life), because I had recently been forgetful about my birth control (since I have broken up with my bf, it seemed less important).

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? He was sexy as hell and we always had this sexual tension.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? The first time we hooked up, a LOT of alcohol. I don’t even know how much.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? There was a little bit of talk about being fuck buddies until we moved away (~ 3 weeks). But my boundaries for that were that he couldn’t get attached and that he couldn’t hook up with other girls while hooking up with me. He claims he couldn’t do it without getting attached. I think he just couldn’t give up possibly hooking up with other girls.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My best friends. They were completely cool with it. Nobody had any negative feelings about it. It wasn’t shameful or weird to talk about with them.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes for both of us.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Kind of, only because it adds another person to my overall number. I hate that it’s getting higher because I feel as though when I meet the man I want to marry he may want to know that number and it might make him feel negatively. But at the same time, he was so sexy and turned me on SO much and it was great to feel that way after dating someone who I grew to have no sexual feelings towards.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Actually yes! This hook up had a big impact on the way I think about casual sex. When we had our sober hook up he told me something about men that really stuck with me… I asked him something about why men find it hard to commit to women and he told me that it’s because there are other girls that are talking to them or contacting them. And I thought a lot about how socially connected my generation is and how that has truly changed how easily tempted we can be.

The best part about this hook up is how physically attracted I was to him and how much that turned me on.

The worst thing about this hook up was that I had sex with one more person, which adds to my number.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

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