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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 44
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Australia
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your current relationship status? Single
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 3

The Viking

How long ago did this hookup happen? October 2016

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? This was the first hook up…..both guests of a Sydney backpacker’s. Tall, imposing physique and booming voice. Just a few years older than me.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? On the last night of my trip, I was sitting on the level 9 balcony, soaking up the spring sun and enjoying a glass of wine. I had planned to go to trivia at 6.30pm, but I met the Viking maybe half an hour earlier, and time ran away from us. He had a bottle of red and I was drinking white… We chatted for a while then he left briefly. Then he came back up to the balcony with another bottle of red. We talked some more, drank more wine, till we ran out. A quick trip to the shops for more wine. By this stage, I was intrigued by this man, I found him very interesting and intelligent, a turn-on for me. Also I should say that I was in an ambivalent place with previous relationship, all but a flatline at this stage. My body language was focused on the Viking. He leaned in for a passionate kiss, to which I responded to favourably.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We got quite horny and were without a place to continue in privacy. He went down to reception and booked a room, a family room. We stripped off and jumped into bed. A bit blurry with all that wine! He woke me up later in the night and I was on top and had an orgasm. Fell back asleep till 5:45am when he had to get ready for work. As he left, he gave me his number.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I, too, had to get moving early as my return flight was at 11am. Whilst waiting for my flight, I sent him a thank you text, to let him know that I found him to be interesting. I wasn’t expecting any response really; you can’t make a one-night stand text or call back. That night I did a text back. And it grew from there. He came to visit me, then I visited him and then he came back to me, literally living together as boyfriend/girlfriend. As he is on tourist visa, any work he does is cash in hand. Through my social circle, got work locally, doing timber work on staircase and balcony/decking. The two weeks we had together were two of the most intense weeks of my life, certainly an eye-opener. I did my best to provide creature comforts, as it were, making sure that there was food and alcohol in the house. As his cash money was coming in, attitudes changed. My Viking friend started to take advantage of my hospitality, especially while I was working nights. To cut a long story short, I grew increasingly frustrated with his drinking habits, wine in the morning, nigh on a bottle of scotch at night. He moved out and could stay where he was working on stairway. The drinking and nasty attitudes didn’t stop, in fact he seemed to get worse. When I heard other’s perspectives on what was going on, I felt sick… and dismayed. So right now I am pissed off with him and myself. I feel like I let everyone down by subjecting them to this behaviour. However, I can see him clearly for who he is: a Macchiavellian male who is out for himself only. No real feelings, or empathy, just cold, hard facts about money, wealth, and a misogynist to boot!

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Intoxication

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I didn’t say anything to anyone at first.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat

Why do you regret this hookup? In itself, the hookup was fine… and I don’t actually regret that element of it.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Intelligent, witty conversation.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The worst thing…. was allowing myself to get carried away with the sweet words and actions, when in reality I was only a pawn in his game. Hindsight is great… you can see it all!

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The last time I hooked up randomly was in 2011. Again away from home. As a rule, I have been in relationships, and when single, there has been nothing else. Also I had my daughter living with me until recently. She is now grown up and living her own life, so this experience with the Viking would not have occurred at all. I don’t have a problem with casual sex… it can be satisfying and liberating when done with right person and motives. Just right now, I am a little wary of the negative energies out there!

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? The main thing is have a more even playing field between men and women…..where both sexes can be who they are, be proud of their sexuality and be without judgement.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Love it…..

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!