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What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 46
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? New York
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Physician
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (open)
Religious affiliation: Spiritual
How religious are you? Very
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Sex-positive, Open, Poly, Swinger, Exhibitionist, Voyeur, Top
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 48
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

When Things Go Just Right

How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 days ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (open)

How would you best classify this hookup? Group sex

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Jane: Medium tall, brunette, 20s, voluptuous, a few tats. We met for the first time at a sex party 5 minutes prior to hooking up. I was talking with some friends who introduced me to their friends and Jane came over to say hi to the other group. I was really attracted to her personality and thought she was fun.
Jack: On the short side, medium build, big smile, good looking. He is her boyfriend and was with her when I met her. He was nice and I liked him.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We were all standing around chatting and I was really horny after making out with my friend. I saw Jane, found her attractive and introduced myself hoping we might hookup. My friend quickly joined the conversation and then we all ended up talking about signs in a fun and silly way. I then told Jane that I wanted to kiss her but that my sign is bad at communicating with her sign. She asked for an example; so I first asked to kiss her how my sign might ask, and she wasn’t very interested. I then asked her the way her compatible sign would ask and Jane really responded to it. I really liked that and pulled her in to kiss me. The kiss was really hot and was excited to take things further.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? So I then quietly asked her boyfriend if she and I could go make out on the couch and he smiled and said yes. I then suggested to her that we go make out on the couch and she smiled and said yes; so I said by to my friend and led Jane to the couch.

On the couch, after making out for a little bit with shirts and bra coming off and lots of grinding and heavy breathing, I suggested we fuck. She said yes and I waved over her boyfriend to ask if it was okay with him. He smiled and said yes and so I grabbed a condom and we started having sex with her on top.

There was lots of kissing and grabbing and nibbling at each other – it was pretty intense. Jack was standing next to her and I gestured for him to kiss her so he started making out with her while we were fucking. He then sat down next to us and I told her to grab his cock and she started giving him a handjob while we fucked. After a while, she came and then I suggested she go doggy so I could finish.

She said yes and climbed onto the couch on her hands and knees and started giving Jack a blowjob. I entered her from behind and fucked her until I came. She continued with the blowjob as I ran to grab a towel. I came back around to see if I should get back into the fray – but they were into what they were doing, so I told them I would see them later and left them alone and went back to my friends.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? A few minutes later, my friends and I were getting ready to leave and I saw Jane and Jack with their friends. I went over and gave her a kiss and him a hug and told them to look me up on FB if they want to — but if not, that was ok too.

I felt really good about it the next day – the sex was good and every thing seemed to flow really smoothly. That’s not always the case for me; so, even though I felt really good about it, I also felt a little sense of loss because we probably won’t meet up again – most of the people I meet at sex parties like that they can try new things (and new people) and never have to see the people again.

Having a supportive wife who sees me as sexier after I hook up with other people definitely helps soften the blow because, for a little while at least, sex will be better at home. If I was single, I think I might focus on the aloneness a bit more after parties like that.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s)

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? I don’t know

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My wife. She was really happy that I had a good time and that everything went smoothly.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? That everyone was smiling and enthusiastic and enjoyed it.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That I want more like it.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? A little bit. It made me a little more optimistic about how well a threesome can go if everyone is communicating well.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? At one point I stroked her vagina and now wonder if should have worn a glove. I don’t have a lot of experience having that conversation and am trying to be better about it. I hope that next time I’ll be able to try that language out.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I’ve seen casual done right and done wrong. I want more people to be able to have more sex in general (including casual sex) but there has to be more awareness about communication and consent. Three seconds of uncomfortable dialogue used here and there throughout a sexual encounter doesn’t end up hurting the sexual encounter and can only help in terms of giving people a better experience.

I was so happy to see communication and consent being taught at the University of Toronto — in a sex club no less! I wish America would be less uptight about this sort of stuff. More PSAs please!

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I really like it. I wish the posts were a little more filtered to take out the fictional erotica (or erotica-stylized non-fiction) posts because I want people to see this site as real resource. But the real posts are here to and help paint the landscape of sexuality more clearly for everybody.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!

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