by Emma
Gender: Female

Age: 23
Race/ethnicity: White caucasian
Location: Bristol
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Student
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

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Three in a Bed

How long ago did this hookup happen? Several months

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He is my friend’s boyfriend. I have known him for a while now. I had and still have no romantic interest in him, although I find him attractive.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Myself, my friend and her boyfriend went out to a club. We got very drunk and all went back to their apartment. I passed out in the bed with them.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? During the night her boyfriend starting groping me and although I was hesitant at first, eventually I reciprocated. I remember asking him to “Fuck me”, and he got on top. His girlfriend was lying in bed next to us, so I put a finger to my lips and we had sex silently. I think he pulled out and came on my body. I didn’t have an orgasm. I don’t know if my friend woke and knows what happened. I haven’t told her.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? No precautions taken.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Alcohol.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Yes, alcohol. A lot.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Afterwards, I felt huge guilt. I also felt a strange, secret kind of pleasure in what I had done, especially as the days went on and it looked as though no one would find out. I am still good friends with both my friend and her boyfriend.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? One person. They were shocked, although later thought that I had been taken advantage of.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was consensual, although very much on the border. I wouldn’t have gone through with it had I been less drunk.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Yes. The guilt is enormous and has caused problems in my own relationship. I have been attacking my partner for no reason, criticizing him, and I think it is to make myself feel less guilty.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing and worst thing are one and the same. Having this secret made me smile sometimes, and brought on a rush of adrenaline. It also has caused a huge amount of stress in my life and relationship. I believe casual sex is fine, but not with a friend’s boyfriend, and not whilst you have a partner of your own.

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Very negative

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