What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 56
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? editor
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (open)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly gay/lesbian
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 200+
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Three-way in a Barcelona Bathhouse
How long ago did this hookup happen? 19
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Group sex
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I was 37 and living in Barcelona. About once a week I would go to one of three popular bathhouses, wandering around the maze of rooms and hooking up over a period of hours, most often once but sometimes in succession with different guys. This particular bathhouse was the smallest and was most popular after 1 a.m.
I haven’t spent much time in bathhouses since then, but I find them incredibly exciting sexual places. Basically, it’s guys wandering around in towels and naked. Every guy there is just looking for sex, there’s lots to look at – I really get off on watching guys getting each other off, giving each other blow jobs or even better, getting fucked or even better yet, group sex. Then there’s the whole hunt thing, wandering the maze of little grubby cabins, with guys waiting inside showing off what they’ve got – hardons and challenging eyes or lying on their stomachs, asses in the air for the taking. This particular night, a young couple sat together in a room. They were probably 25-28 or so. One was thin with shoulder-length dark hair, smooth, probably South American, on the pretty side, average height, dark pubic hair and average cock, thin and probably 6 inches or so. The other was Spanish, medium brown hair, meaty but not fat, with a shaved chest and a big cock, 8-9 inches and thick, and a sexy mouth with full lips and hazel eyes with long lashes. I’m pretty ecumenical in my tastes, but I definitely was more attracted to the meaty guy, he was very hot.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? As I made my rounds, I stuck my head in the room and raised my eyebrows in the universal gesture for “interested?” One or maybe both nodded (which surprised me a little at the time, I considered myself not much of a prize having gone grey quite young but looking back at it now, I was actually thin and in great shape and much hotter than I realised). I entered and shut the door behind me.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We immediately dropped our towels, revealing our now hard cocks. We started going at it, the darker haired guy started giving sucking my cock (which is also pretty big, 9 inches and thick) while the lighter haired guy stood up on the platform I was sitting on and started fucking my face. We moved around in several different positions before but eventually they let me know that I should fuck the thick-cocked guy. There was a bit of a language barrier but it seemed like two things were going on – the darker-haired guy wanted his boyfriend to see how it felt to be fucked by a big cock; the big-cocked guy wanted to get fucked by a big cock himself.
There’s something about fucking a guy with a big cock – they’re supposed to be the ones getting serviced, so it’s somehow extra hot to be plowing into their asses. I pulled on a condom and the big-cocked guy first sat on my cock, the other guy was next to me wanking and watching and kissing me sometimes. Then we switched positions, with the big-cocked guy on his back while I fucked him nice and easy. I tried to wank him while I fucked him but he shoved my hand away. I think he was on the edge of cumming and he didn’t want to cum until I came first. So I did and then he blew his load on his chest. Then I thanked them and left.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I took a shower and then got dressed and went home, sleeping the sleep of the dead. It was definitely a one-time thing, no expectations other than getting off in the moment. How do I feel about it? 19 years later and at least 25 sexual encounters later, it still gives me a hard on! So yes, I feel very positive about it.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I think I’ve mentioned it once to my husband long ago. He thought it sounded hot.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The sheer horniness of all involved.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Nothing. Or, the guy would’ve been sexier if he hadn’t shaved his chest!
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Bathhouse sex is in a category of its own for me.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Probably the greatest thing about being gay is the much less judgemental attitude about sex vs for straight people and straight culture. Of course there’s still pressure to pair up and be monogamous, but there’s much more room for sex working in different ways in a gay relationship. It’s only five years ago that my husband and I decided to open our relationship, but it’s turned out – after the first couple of extremely difficult years – to have been a very good thing. I look forward to a day when our rigid social strictures around sex loosen up, but I’m not holding my breath. Still, generally speaking, things have gotten better slowly but surely, two steps forward one step back, when it comes to sex and our attitudes and behaviours.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Anything that promotes healthier attitudes about sex gets a thumbs up from me!
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