What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 24
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? London
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Unsure / Questioning
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Predominantly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 29
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 2
Tinder hook up
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 month
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was really good looking, kind of unusually so. Big beard, big muscles, hipster style and little round glasses. My weakness.
We matched on tinder and he was pretty forward, making it clear it would just be a hookup. He offered to drive and pick me up as I don’t have a car, and after thinking about it for a few days I agreed. I had to get somewhere near where he lived early the next day so I figured it would be convenient anyway.
I felt pretty excited, he seemed cool and asked me to bring some weed and some tights since he had a real fetish for them. I put a pair in my bag since I wasn’t feeling totally into it, but thought I might change my mind.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We drove to his place, it took about 45 minutes so we chatted and kissed on the way. He was nice, I guess, not super interesting but quite direct which I liked. I think he got some bad news on the phone on the way, he was speaking another language so I couldn’t quite figure it out as I don’t speak it that well. But from what I could tell that changed his mood a lot.
When we got to his place he left me in his big room while he brought tea and snacks, I guess that was cute.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We chatted a little bit and then started kissing again, on his sofa. He took my top off and kissed my neck, and I got quite a lot of beard in my mouth. He undid my jeans and touched me, a bit too roughly, and bit me very hard which I don’t like. He pushed me onto the floor between his legs and told me to take off my clothes. I like being bossed around like that, so I was pretty into it, and went down on him for a while until I got up and walked over to his bed to lie down. When he entered me it felt quite painful, like he was jabbing my cervix. I kept saying it hurt but I don’t think he understood for a while. Eventually he came, and pulled out so it went all over me. I was a bit annoyed that my pleasure didn’t come into it, but I had also rushed things because I felt nervous.
Then we sat back on the sofa with no clothes on, he sat in a chair opposite me which I remember being a bit annoyed by since I like to be intimate after sex and he clearly didn’t. Then he threw me a banana from the bunch he brought into the room earlier, and when I went to open it he told me to fuck myself with it instead. I told him to clean it first, so he did, and then told him to fuck me with it instead. It felt surprisingly good, but cold, and I enjoyed it. Then he stopped and rolled me a joint but didn’t smoke any, and we talked for a while. His politics really put me off him, and he was kind of apolitical and vegan and very focused on stuff I wasn’t really into.
Then we got into bed, and it was pretty uncomfortable. He didn’t touch me and we just lay next to each other, I feel like he definitely wanted some space but I had nowhere else to go and it was the middle of the night. I started touching him again, telling him not to go to sleep. He rolled me over onto my side and pushed into me which I really liked, grabbing my hip and pulling my head back with my hair. He felt really good and I struggled to be quiet. We fucked like that for a while, then he moved me so I was in reverse cowgirl, which felt amazing, and he spanked me and then stroked me quickly afterwards. He put the light on his phone so he could see better, which I really liked. He came all over me again and then we fell asleep. Just before that I remembered he kept calling me crazy, and I was thinking, actually this is really not crazy sex for someone who implied that that was what I would be getting.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He called me a cab at 4.30am and woke me up to tell me it was coming, then let me out and kissed me on the cheek goodbye. I remember thinking, I do not want to meet up with you again, which is good because normally I pine a little after. I got to where I needed to be just in time and haven’t heard from him since, which is fine, as if he had asked I probably would have met up with him again because I’m bored.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, IUD (Intrauterine device)
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, I was feeling lonely, Submission / Relinquishing power, Boredom, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told a few friends, they laughed at me using a guy as a ride and a place to crash for the night.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The way he spanked me.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It made me realise if I really want to have sex I can just make it happen. I should stop turning down forward men because I think I shouldn’t or they’re no good – it doesn’t matter, if I want to have sex I don’t need to consider what a girl should or shouldn’t do, I can just do what I want because it’s my needs and my desires.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? He was a bit unfriendly I guess, which is weird when you’re having sex.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? More casual sex! I’m more in control and aware of my emotions.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Great!
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