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What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 3os
What’s your race/ethnicity? Black
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? London
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Director
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Bi
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? Around 300
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

Train journey detour

How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 weeks ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was early 30s, buff and bald with incredibly cute dimples. I had placed an ad online earlier that day and he responded. He was direct about his attraction to me, and his desire to meet. I was nervous and excited about meeting him, but felt confident enough to go through with it.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was on my way home from a business meeting and had hoped to meet someone in the town where I’d been working that day. As it was, he happened to live near a station that was on my way home. We arranged that he would pick me up from the station and take me to his place. From our initial email exchange to actually meeting was about four hours.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He got me a drink and we chatted for a while about our own relationship histories. He was curious to know if I’d done this before. I answered in the negative. He claimed not to have had sex for over six months. I’m sure we were both lying. What was it to him if I had done? The double standard is alive and well!

I went shower and when he saw me stripped down to my bra and panties he was very excited by my breasts, going to touch them. I slapped his hand away and went to finish my shower.

After, he led me to his bed and we started kissing. He sucked and licked my nipples, he touched me between my legs and hungrily, even greedily licked my clitoris and vagina. I’m getting wet even now as I write this. He had an extraordinary penis, with a curve in the top. Truthfully, it was big and a little uncomfortable so we found other ways to play. He entered me missionary style, I got on all fours as he entered me (vaginally) from behind. He did try to enter me anally a couple of times, but I stopped him. I sat on top of him and he sucked my nipples while I was riding him. He turned me over on my side and fucked me sideways – quite literally! He then begged me to sit on his face while he licked my cunt. I was only too happy to oblige him.

We were lying side by side when I started touching his nipples. I expected him to tell me it did nothing for him, but he told me that he had sensitive nipples. I really enjoyed sucking them and teasing them with my fingers while he rubbed his hand up and down his shaft. Very soon, he lost control and came all over his chest and me. That he’d marked me in this way really seemed to turn him on.

He was a good and eager lover, but also rather entitled, an odd combination. I went to freshen up, and he dropped me back to the station. On the way, he asked me if I would do this again. He didn’t seem interested in seeing me again, so I found the question rather odd. More of that double standard! He still wanted a feeling of exclusivity even in a casual encounter.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I sent him a text to let him know I was safely home, and to thank him for a nice time. He responded in kind, telling me that he still felt turned on. I invited him over for another time, but he did not respond which I thought was bloody rude. Even if he only wanted it to be a one-off, he could have told me that. I thought he would be a good ongoing hook-up partner, but it was not to be. That was disappointing.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A couple of friends who were concerned about my safety.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Discovering a new sexual connection, and doing something out of the norm.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? His lack of contact afterwards. If you’ve licked someone’s vagina, you can pick up the bloody ‘phone!

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It has made me even more aware of the double standard. Even in 2016, a lot of men will divide women into two sets: those they fuck and those they commit to. All the while, it’s the same pool of women. Something to think on.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex has taught me a lot about myself, and I’ve had some good times. It has been a way for me to exercise autonomy over my body and life, and to put my feminist principles into practise. It has also at times been a lonely experience.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It is valuable and gives a window into other people’s worlds. But I do wonder if everyone has been honest, otherwise it’s rather meaningless.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!