by

What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 48
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Police Officer
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? About 25
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

Twenty Years Later

How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 months

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Sex with an ex

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met “H” about twenty years ago. She was eighteen and I was twenty-eight. I was married at the time and still am to to the same woman. “H” is a stunningly beautiful brunette with awesome features and smooth, soft skin. Attraction was immediate. We ended up spending a lot of free time together for about six months. Her sexual appetite was amazing. I broke it off when I developed deep feelings for her that messed with my head. She beefed me to stay together for the sex, but I just couldn’t. It would’ve wrecked too many lives.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I’ve always thought of “H” but stayed away, until six months ago. I reached out to her via social media and we arranged to meet. She said she was in a committed relationship. After twenty years, she had two kids and had been divorced.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We had drinks and had planned dinner, but didn’t make it to the dinner part. We ended up at her place and the fuckfest began. She was as beautiful as ever. Supple breasts with hard nipples, and now a pierced clit, nicely shaved. The only hitch to the whole thing was, I couldn’t cum. I was rock hard for over an hour and nothing I could do would release my orgasm. I finally had to stop from exhaustion.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We chatted again on social media and agreed the whole thing had probably been a mistake. We revisited old feelings and learned how our lives had progressed. But it was a trap we both recognized. It would have turned into real love in no time, but wasn’t compatible with either one of our lives.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Intoxication

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Nobody.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? I didn’t cum! (Not really.) Actually, I don’t regret it, but I do think it was a mistake. We played with fire and luckily didn’t get burned.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Seeing “H” again. If I hadn’t been married so long ago, she would have been the one. I truly loved her. She was so special to me. But I couldn’t sentence my kids and my wife to that kind of damage.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Not cumming!

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yeah. I probably would never do it again, no matter with who it is. It’s just empty.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Maybe in another life “H” and I can be King and Queen together.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? It’s pretty empty without the heart.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Interesting.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!