This post is sponsored by The T Bar.
What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 23
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Australia
What country and/or city do you live in? New Zealand
Highest education received: High school diploma
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 2
Two Guys in One Night
How long ago did this hookup happen? About Four Months
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? The first guy I met typically through Tinder, quickly after matching we chatted briefly and discovered quickly we both just wanted sex, just a one night stand really. I messaged him a few days later to let him know I had a hotel room that night, as this seemed to be a pattern for me, having a hotel room more central to things and to get decent study done. We arranged to meet briefly that afternoon after he had work, to see if we wanted to meet at the hotel, which we did. I wasn’t too worried about what he was like, I was just incredibly horny and he was attractive enough.
The second guy I had also met on Tinder, but had been casually having sex with him for just over a month, but we hadn’t spoken in a few weeks since it had become awkward with me seeing him 2-3 times a week and hadn’t actually discussed what we were doing or wanted but I had kept seeing him as he was incredibly attractive, and seemed quite my type with him having tattoos and similar interests.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? With the first guy we arranged for him to come over to the hotel later that evening, as he had a party to go too and the hotel wasn’t too far from where that was, so he said he would text when he was leaving the party.
With the second guy that wasn’t planned at all, having not being in contact much I still decided to message him after having sex with the first guy I ended up messaging the first guy letting him know I was in the area.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? The first guy text me after the party and came over to the hotel room, he said he had been drinking at the party so I ended up getting some beers from the hotel room service, so was feeling more confident and fine about the hookup when he arrived to my room. I quickly discovered he was quite dominant ( which I always seemed to prefer the guys being quite confident and dominant). He pushed me roughly onto the bed and took my underwear off quite quickly, before pushing me backwards and giving me oral which I didn’t orgasm but it still felt pretty good. He removed his clothes and after I gave him a handjob we did doggy style and the slight missionary position with my back arched and my legs up by his head, which felt really great to feel him quite deep while he pulled my hair alot,roughly kissed and grabbed my boobs. I started to feel quite tired after all this so put my underwear on and lay on the bed for a few minutes, in that time I think he thought I was asleep so I heard him grab his stuff and the door shut, I was quite glad it had been enjoyable but I hadn’t been completely into it or him.
I went and had a shower and got changed, while I did this I started messaging the second guy who lived only a few streets away at this point it was just after midnight but I knew he would probably be still awake, which he was and messaged me back to come around, that he was really drunk but he wanted to see me, so with me still being quite horny at this stage and quite awake I went over to his place. I had stopped to grab pizza first but when I got to his place I didn’t feel like it anymore, when he came out after I text I was there, I quickly discovered he was very drunk especially when I offered him the pizza he smacked it out of my hand onto the ground and then slammed me against the wall making out with me and telling me he’d missed me but was very drunk and high, I contemplated whether it was a good idea or not but followed him into his apartment. We ended up arguing for a bit about how complicated things had got, what we were doing and despite him saying some nasty things I ended up putting my things down and staying.
With him being so drunk we weren’t able to have sex but I told him not too worry we would in the morning, he said he felt bad but we ended up falling asleep with him cuddling me. I got woken up later that morning in the typical way he knew would wake me up by placing his hands slowly on my boobs and gently turning my nipple piercings while slowly kissing my neck, which definitely woke me up and despite it being so early I had an unusual amount of energy so I grabbed and pinned down his arms, straddling him and started kissing him to his neck and down his chest which at this point he grabbed my arm and flipped me onto my back, he had always liked to be quite dominant and this was no exception. We had sex in the missionary position with me being on a slight angle on the bed and my head slightly off the bed, which felt unusual but really great, I then moved into the middle of the bed and we did the position of my legs by his head, and my back slightly arched which felt amazing as having him so deep and with his quite big size I orgasmed quite hugely and felt my body shake quite alot, he came shortly after and I then awkwardly grabbed my stuff to go check out at the hotel.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? With the first guy he sent me a text a few days later but I just ignored it as I wasn’t interested in talking or seeing him again, so after that we never talked or saw each other again.
With the second guy it got abit more complicated and awkward, as I had to leave early in the morning to go check out from the hotel, I knew things were getting more complicated and it was always quite awkward in the morning so I just grabbed my stuff and left not knowing if i’d see him again, I was hoping I would as I genuinely enjoyed time with him as I could just be myself, let my guard down and the sex was definitely the best with him but I got a little indecisive as usual and after discovering I had left some jewelry at his place I text to see when I could get it off him and tell him I would just be getting my jewelry not having sex with him again which caused things to get quite messy over text, with lots of nasty texts to each other and a good month and half going by before I got my jewelry back.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Intoxication, I was feeling lonely, Boredom
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, MDMA, ecstasy, molly
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told a few of my best friends about that night, but alot of close friends and one of my sisters’ knew about the second guy as they knew about all the drama going on and me feeling mixed about things, but they seemed to generally like him, as one friend had met him briefly but she was just unsure how dating or having anything serious would go.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? I don’t regret having sex with the first guy at all, but I do with the second. It’s not often I regret a hookup even if it’s not fully satisfying but the only one I do is with the second guy, as it got so much more dramatic and complicated from me going to his place that early morning, when I should of just stayed at the hotel and not messaged him or started anything again as it opened up a door of total messiness and drama that could of been avoided, and avoided both of us, mainly me getting so hurt.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Having great sex with the second guy and being able to see him again. Despite it getting so intimate.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Most of it, just even going into his place and having sex with him knowing how messy things were and could get especially with him being so drunk and high on ecstasy, we ended up getting into a slight argument which resulted him saying some nasty things like ‘he would of invited anyone over’ which in that moment I should of left knowing I wasn’t anyone special just sex for that night and easy being around the area, but typically thought despite him saying that out of intoxication things could actually get sorted and progress into something.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Because of the second guy it did change things quite alot, as I saw myself change so much in a short amount of time from being so confident in myself, casual sex and enjoying being single to getting quite confused and indecisive. Loving the power and freedom of being single quickly changed when I started to see the guy more and started confusing the lines of intimacy to would it actually go somewhere, so with all the drama and mess I got quite cold and jaded with a lack of respect to guys I had casual sex with, with getting so hurt from things with the second guy I didn’t even like kissing them especially not anything too intimate as especially being tinder guys I felt they didn’t deserve that, I was just there for quick sex.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? It probably shouldn’t of even happened in the first place, we had things in common and unbelievably great sexual chemistry but that wasn’t enough for anything more or stable and I shouldn’t of stayed in contact with him as when I did finally get my jewelry a month later he decided to tell me then he liked me and wanted to date me, I think it was the timing of me casually seeing someone which I told him I was, he could see I was more serious about this guy even though experiences with casual sex had made me quite jaded and cold so I didn’t see that working but still decided to cut contact with the second guy.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? My thoughts on casual sex have changed alot, I generally like it and think it’s fine for most people if they can handle that and are honest with the person from the beginning of what they’re wanting, but i’ve recently discovered even with what you can discuss at the beginning can change and no matter how different you think you could be you can still end up liking the person. I’d like to see society more open and accepting on it, especially with seeing females as ‘sluts’ I definitely want this changed and viewed differently.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s great, I really enjoy reading some of the stories.
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