by Mr U

What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 50
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? NYC
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? School Counselor
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 35
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? a few

Two Weeks in 1987

How long ago did this hookup happen? 28 years ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was a beautiful, buxom, 19-year-old German woman with chocolate hair. I’ll call her Karina. We met one day at a train station in southern France, where I was living for the summer. I struck up a conversation about the fact that she was American — she had been reading USA Today — and she corrected me. She was in fact German but had served as an au pair in the US for a year and liked to stay current and to practice her English language skills. She was on her way home after a brief holiday where I was staying, but she had just over an hour to kill. I invited her to hang out with me, and we walked and talked. We went back to my hotel and made out passionately, but she didn’t have time for more. She promised to come back to visit me a few weeks later and to stay for a week. Somehow we pulled it off, and to my happy surprise, she returned 20 days later and ended up spending over a week with me. Before she arrived, we exchanged a few letters, and hers were very sexy. I also managed to phone her a few times from the hotel.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? So, three weeks after our short first meeting, I picked her up at the train station and walked her back to my hotel. She had a small suitcase of clothes and toiletries. It was weird setting her up in the small hotel room where I’d been staying for the past month, mainly because we hardly knew each other, and suddenly we’re planning to spend over a week together. It was clear that we were planning to have loads of sex together, and I guess that actually lowered the tension in some good ways — there were no doubts. At the same time, 9 days is a long time to spend with someone you hardly know, so our brains must have switched over to make-the-most-of-it mode. And we certainly made the most of our time together.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? As soon as we got back to the hotel, we had sex. Karina told me that she was on the pill, so we didn’t have to use a condom. I was aware of STDs and even of AIDS (which was only just getting understood), but I was happy to go bareback. She started kissing me and quickly took off my pants and started going down on me. She was good! This was the first time I’d ever experienced deep throating, and it felt amazing. I didn’t come, and then I went down on her. I was feeling quite confident in my abilities thanks to some other encounters I’d had during the three weeks before Karina returned to France. She came when I went down on her, and then I fucked her and we both came. It was the first time I’d given a woman an orgasm from intercourse and therefore the first time I’d experienced a simultaneous orgasm. This fantastic evening set us on course for an amazing week of almost nonstop sex. We frequently took turns going down on each other (she swallowed – another first for me), and we generally had sex at least twice a day.

After just four days, we were both falling in love and talked about how crazy that seemed, but I guess, looking back on it, that this is how our brains work when we’re releasing loads of happy chemicals; that is to say, love can happen quickly. So, as good as the sex was on days 1-4, it was even more amazing on days 5-9 because now were were ‘making love’ and feeling deepening intimacy in addition to our pleasure.

We knew our time was limited — in fact, she had skipped a week of college to be with me — so we started planning a second week together. We decided on the Netherlands because I had wanted to visit Amsterdam, a city she knew a bit. We ended up meeting in Amsterdam about six weeks later. This time, she told me that she wasn’t able to have penetrative sex but that we could go down on each other. We did, often twice a day or more, for the next few days. We knew that our relationship was not built to last, but we still felt love for each other, which in some ways made our time together painful but which also added depth to it. After our last day together in Holland, we took a train together that stopped in Germany, where she got off, and then I headed on to my next adventure. I never saw her again, but we kept up our sporadic letter-writing for several years.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Over the years, I wondered if I would ever hear from her again. I stayed in touch or rekindled friendships with some of the other people I met while I was in Europe, but I never communicated with her again. Initially I was sad to miss out on spending more time with this beautiful, sexy, intelligent woman, but I also appreciated that she set the bar very high and that as a result of meeting her and a few other women, I learned the difference between fun, casual sex and deep, loving, meaningful sex. They both feel great, and I’m certainly not knocking casual sex, but it’s wonderful when we can find something even more profound.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Thought it was an important experience to have

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told many of my friends back home. They thought I was very lucky to have had such a great time during my European vacation.

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? We experienced love and lust in a condensed form. Our relationship also helped me figure out what I wanted out of future relationships.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Knowing that it was finite and that at some point, we would never see each other again.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Through casual sex, I learned about becoming a better lover both physically as well as emotionally.

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