by Jessica

Gender: Female
Age: 27
Race/ethnicity: White
Location: California, USA
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Teacher
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: Culturally Jewish
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 22
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Über Cute Bartender

How long ago did this hookup happen? Last Night

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? One-night stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met him when I was out with a girlfriend drinking at the bar he works at. I was very attracted to him and enjoyed watching him mix drinks as well as seeing part of the tattoos on his arms. Before we left, I folded a note with my number in it.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I met him when he was done with work at another bar and he invited me to his place. He instigated it by suggesting bed, but I started touching him, and took my top off when we got there.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He must have been super tired, because we didn’t do nearly as much as I wanted. He asked for a blow job since I have a tongue ring and he had never experienced that before. I obliged and he fingered me a little before falling asleep. In the morning I gave him a hand job and he orgasmed and he fingered me again but fell asleep before I could orgasm.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We didn’t discuss it, but I brought a condom and he had a couple on the ground I noticed later. I didn’t use a dental dam.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I hadn’t had sex in seven months, he was attractive, called me, and had a place to go.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Some drinking. I like to have a clear head so I didn’t drink too much, one at the bar, and one at the house.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? In the morning I got dressed while he slept and left. I was disappointed that we didn’t have sex and that I didn’t orgasm. I’m leaving the country soon so I think it is very unlikely I’ll ever see him again. I feel ok about him, I just wish he’d been a bit more attentive to my sexual needs.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told the friend that I was at his bar with and she supported my hookup although she was sorry I wasn’t fully satisfied.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Consensual for both of us.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I don’t regret going to bed with him I just didn’t get that much out of it sexually.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best part was talking about life and the future and music late at night with a record playing some music I didn’t know. It didn’t change anything about me, just reinforced that I love sex and can’t wait to have some cant-talk-exhausted-reduced-to-a-puddle-mind-blowing sex with someone who is attentive to my needs. Someone giving. I also really liked sleeping with a mans arm wrapped around me making me feel safe. That was lovely.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

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