What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 21
What’s your race/ethnicity? Black
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? United kingdom
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Part time Barista
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Very
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
How long ago did this hookup happen? A week
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He used to be my flatmate in my first year at university but I never thought he saw me any different from the other flatmates. We moved in to different flats in our second years then he went off in an exchange programme in his third year and now he’s back. He’s about my height maybe a little taller, he’s Caucasian, he’s average looking and I remember having very intelligent conversations with him in the past.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I hadn’t seen him in about a year so when I saw him sitting alone outside the student club drunk I went to speak to him. I had just been disappointed that night because some dude I had a crush on didn’t pay attention to me. So we started talking and he offered to walk me home. On our way he stopped and kissed me and said we didn’t have to do anything. I was a virgin at the time even though I had had previous failed attempts at sex. I wanted to go ahead with it so we went upstairs to my flat.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I’m very inexperienced and I’m not sure how inexperienced he is but since I haven’t been penetrated vaginally before, he couldn’t enter me. I felt like it was very disappointing for him. I told him to use more force but I think we weren’t getting the technique right. Maybe if we had lube it would have worked. He gave me oral and I did him as well. After about 30 minutes we gave up and went to sleep because I had work the next morning.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He slept over and I probably will see him around since we go to the same university. I think it might be awkward because our mutual friends are always laughing at any one night stands in the group. I’m determined not to let things get awkward though. I’m not sure that he wants anything further with me and as for me, I wouldn’t mind going on a date or something because I had no idea he found me attractive at all.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Learning new things, experimenting, Intoxication, I was feeling lonely, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it
How intoxicated were you? Completely wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Completely wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? A little bit
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A mutual flatmate of ours. They laughed because they never expected both of us to hook up.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat
Why do you regret this hookup? I don’t think it ended great for both of us and I think he was disappointed.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not really. I just feel that this experience in particular wasn’t that great but if I’m ever in a situation with a guy I find attractive I probably would have a ONS again. But I’d be more sexually experienced then.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Nope
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex is not for virgins
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Great project. It was good to read the experiences of others and know that I am not alone in my awkwardness lol.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!