by Alicia

Gender: Female
Age: 18
Race/ethnicity: White
Current location: Connecticut
Highest education received: High school diploma
Relationship status: Committed relationship
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? I just really love anyone that’s willing to love me
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? Oh jeez…. about 8
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

Unexpected Cheating

How long ago did this hookup happen? November 2013

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Unexpected

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? It was with my close friend Aaron. I met him my sophomore year when i transfered to my current school. By then it was October 2012 and I had been dating my current boyfriend Steven since August 2012. Aaron and I never had any type of attraction to each other, other than me finding him extremely attractive. But I was completely committed to Steven so I paid no mind to that. Aaron became one of my best friends.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Steven and I have been dating for a year at the time of both incidents. (The first incident) My boyfriend Steven was at work, so I was at Aaron’s hanging out until Steven got home. We were in his room watching a movie on the couch, but the signal got lost for his cable so we had nothing to do. We decided to discuss porn which led to us watching some, no intention at all to actually do anything. Just two friends watching some really hot porn. By that time we had laid down on the couch and it became really hard to keep my hand off his thigh. Eventually I could feel his pants start to tighten and he took my hand and put it down his pants. I was so wet and horny I didn’t even think about Steven. I ended up giving Aaron oral.
(The second incident) It was only a few weeks later and I promised myself I’d never do it again. But I went to Aaron’s again to wait for Steven to come home from work. Another one of our friends was at Aaron’s as well, his name was Luis. We all were watching a movie in the basement. Luis was on one couch and Aaron and I were on the other. Aaron and I were laying down, pretty much spooning, with a blanket over us. Not even fifteen minutes into the movie, and we both felt the tension. He began to get hard and he started to push it against my ass and slowly slid his hand in my pants. Obviously I was already so horny. Meanwhile Luis on the other couch, I’m sure he knew but he never said a word. Aaron was fingering me and I was stroking him under the blanket. He tried to enter me but it was really difficult when you’re trying to be quiet and not move you know? So he whispered for me to go to the bathroom and I immediately got up and went there. A few seconds later he came into the bathroom and dropped his pants and I did not hesitate going down on him. He probably knew how bad I wanted to have sex so he made me stand up and he turned me around and bent me over. We had sex obviously.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? The first time was only me giving him oral, and I loved every second until it was over, which was when I thought about Steven. Aaron was so nice about it and didn’t force anything until he could sense that I wanted it too. It ended with me swallowing and we just promised we’d never say a word about it. The second time was vaginal only and it was so good and hot and sexy I just had such a hard time trying not to be loud about it. He was rough but not in the bad way. It was so much different than sex with Steven because Aaron wanted to be rough and wasn’t afraid of hurting me a little (just how I like) but Steven is very conventional. Side note, I have birth control. So the way it ended was with Aaron finishing inside and we put our clothes back on and quietly went back to watch the movie. Luis said nothing at all.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? The first time obviously he did, and the second, we both had one.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We did not discuss anything it happened too quick. No time for condoms or discussion.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I don’t really have a reason since it was so unplanned.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Not at all.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I feel very guilty about both events. Aaron and I promised it wouldn’t really come between our friendship and for a while it didn’t. But now it’s become slightly awkward and I don’t talk to him nearly as much as we used to before these happenings. I can’t help but assume its because of them. I hope we’ll be able to hangout again without feeling the strong sexual attraction towards each other. I still find him to be an awesome friend. I just miss him.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I obviously never told Steven. And I don’t think I will ever. Currently we have been dating for two years and I am so in love with him and I know that if I did say something he’d leave me immediately, even thought he feels the same about me. I did however tell one person, my friend Amanda who had a similar experience with Aaron the year before. I only told her because I knew she would understand how I felt. She did obviously.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Definitely consensual. I never wanted it to happen though but I didn’t even have the mindset to stop myself. I was in lust.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I do regret it. Everyday something reminds me of it and I think of Steven and I just feel so bad. I love Steven so much and I know I will never do it again.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was that it made me certain that I didn’t want anyone other than Steven. I always knew I loved sex and even though I love Steven I always have the urge to have sex with others. Especially women.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative

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