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What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 32
What’s your race/ethnicity? Southeast Asian
What continent do you live on? Asia
What country and/or city do you live in? India/ New Delhi
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Business
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Hindu
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 4
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Unexpected fling where everything moved too fast
How long ago did this hookup happen? 10 months
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was very attractive, had long Black hair, black eyes, a little lighter than normal Indian tanned skin colour, semi well toned body, a positive aura, smile on face, and was a positive and enthusiastic person. We had met once before on a trip with a group of friends where we hardly spoke. We had spoken on phone once. I had a slight attraction but nothing more than that. She was already with someone else when we met in group of friends. Even though I felt a bit attraction, I didn’t pursue it much and moved on with things in life after the group trip.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I went on a solo trip and was looking for a travel partner when she suddenly came forth and showed interest in coming along. There was no planning involved. When we were travelling together, I could sense a high level of attraction that she had for me. It was confusing, because we had only met once before and it didn’t make sense to me as to how the level of attraction could grow so suddenly. I went along with it anyways. We stayed in a hotel on our first night of the trip. She was leaning quite close on my side of the double bed. I decided to test the waters. I touched her and one thing led to another.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We kissed and cuddled for a while before I went down on her and then entered her. We didn’t do anything anal or kinky. The feeling was exhilarating and a boost to self confidence. I had a very abusive partner before her for few months, and this girl was completely opposite. This girl was very open to have sex and subtle foreplay had actually started much before we reached the hotel. We didn’t talk much on the first night of having sex, and slept briefly after making out.
Our first encounter was short, but during the days to follow, we had many sexual hookups while travelling where each one of us experimented a lot. We did the missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy and various other unusual sexual positions. She experienced an orgasm on one of the occasions.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hookup, we slept for a while and then did a bit of oral in morning. There was a very high level of positive vibe between us the next day. Very high dopamine, vasopressin and oxytocin I guess. The future was unclear but we had many more days of travel together and we let it flow.
It spiraled out of control when after multiple hookups, we fell into the talks of relationship. It was better if had taken more time and not rushed into a relationship. Things fell fast after the first month and we are not in touch now. The feelings initially were very positive, but later it turned out in a lot of heartbreak.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, I don’t know if my partner was on any (other) method
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel better about myself, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Power / Dominance
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I didn’t speak to anyone about this except a friend who reacted very positively. He was very happy about this.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Lot of experimentation, extreme confidence boost, a big transformation in my personality.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Eventual emotional attachment, relationship. The relationship broke as fast as it had formed.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I am open to casual sex now. I came to know things about my personality that I wasn’t aware of. It has transformed me as a person, how I deal in my work and business. After an extreme low point in life post breakup, I now evolved into an alpha male which I was not at that time.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Nope
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I believe there is nothing wrong in casual sex. I have grown up thinking that casual sex is bad, sex in a relationship somewhat ok, but after marriage it is totally acceptable. I consider this hypocrisy, because in Indian society, everything happens behind closed doors. If men are having casual sex, so are women. I still don’t discuss my thoughts openly because I consider it useless.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It is very nice. But how do you ensure that the stories people post are authentic?
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