Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Religious affiliation: None
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 Years
How would you best classify this hookup? FB [Fuck-Buddies]
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? After chatting on-line on a site for casual sex I decided on this guy, almost 10 years my junior, because he seemed pretty sweet unlike the other avalanche of men that approached me on that site (and of course he was well endowed). Not relationship material for me though, as he wasn’t the smartest guy I ever dealt with, but the sweetness more than made up for it. He was attractive, good build, 6 “1, white guy.
After chatting for probably a month (no sex talk as that kills it for me), I got impatient and pretty much coerced him to speed it up and get it out of the way to meet up.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He approached me on the site, but was a little surprised that I chose him for my chosen one (which of course made him even more endearing). Since I know he was moving (to my town no less), I knew he would be conscious about not being able to afford taking me out, which I solved by suggesting he come to my house and watch a movie.
I had never had sex on the first night with ANYONE and totally did not think it would happen with him either.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He showed up at my door, looking decent. Since I pretty much never get sexually attracted before interacting for several dates, I did not expect fireworks. But he was cute enough to sit on my couch watching a movie.
He didn’t try anything, not surprisingly, as I have been known to be a little intimidating to men. I probably would have brushed him off. At 1 am I told him it was time for him to leave, and when he motioned to get out of the couch I asked why he hadn’t try to kiss me. He had this confused look on his face, bless him, but got my hint and kissed me. Can’t remember the details of the kiss, just that his hands quickly got down to rubbing me outside my jeans, and that was all I needed to think to myself, since I am in Sweden I should at least try sex on the first night, which I did.
He was the perfect size dick wise. I couldn’t have written down specs for a better one. But he did have erection problems and clearly had performance angst the whole time. He didn’t seem to enjoy sex that much, probably because of the performance issues. I tried to reassure him with the fact that I was GLAD that he wasn’t fully hard the whole time, as it would’ve been too much for me to handle. Still that did absolutely nothing to alleviate his anxiety. He came and I can’t remember if I did. Maybe I did from him going down on me.
He was very knowledgeable about a woman’s body and made sure to massage my g-spot, and best of all reached my deep spots when penetrating (which is my favorite).
He left my house at noon the next day.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? None. I am not a huge fan of condoms. Horribly wrong, I know. Yes, we did have a discussion about it, briefly, when chatting.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was working super hard and hadn’t had sex since my very bad break-up almost 2 years prior! Wanted to find someone that I could have sex with regularly. Nothing too serious since I knew I was moving to another city 3 months later.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Nothing at all.
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I was surprised and remember feeling a little empty having had really great sex, but it was like there was no feelings to kind of drape it on. This was new to me since I have always found it very easy to separate sex from emotions, actually so much that it was rare for me to find a steady fuck buddy when I wasn’t in a relationship, because the men always wanted more. Funny enough none of the male friends I ever told would believe that a man would turn down no-strings sex. This is interesting in itself.
Anyway, I totally anticipated this hot new sex life for myself since the man lived 8 minutes from my house, but of course not. We met and had sex soon afterwards and it was mind blowingly good, he was the best I ever had, and that was sans emotions! He even topped a former boyfriend of mine which was super well endowed, 400 m runner with a keen interest in sexology.
After our second time at my house (my nosy neighbor asked me if I had met anyone, because we were so LOUD) he seemed reluctant to meet with me. Apparently he was having some drama in his life (all the more reason to have sex to release some endorphins I say). He did start saying things like “I miss you” etc, and I had to stop him right there. I did not want him to get all lost in some emotional narrative (fancy way of saying fooling himself into thinking he had feelings for me), since I was to move far away within a couple of months. No way could it be genuine, we spent all of 8 hours sex-free time together.
I did go to his house one time. We did not have sex that time because it was clear he didn’t want to. Soon after he contacted me saying he couldn’t continue seeing me since he felt bad about not performing to his standard (never mind my eyes rolling out of my head because of him). I think I made him feel pressured wanting sex too intensely.
I think he texted me once before I moved, and I learned that he got married within the year, which made me glad since I was a little worried about him being so sensitive, but also slightly envious.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told some of my close friends that the best sex I ever had was with some guy from a sex site. I did it to loosen them up a little bit, consider new horizons. Later one friend told me that it made her slightly nauseous when I told her (yes, I do think she is quite conservative in bed).
My gay friends of course don’t bat an eyelid at any of this, old hat to them. More wondered why I let him go, which I technically don’t think was any of my doing.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes, although probably not enjoyed equally.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Not at all, but I have realized since (after a couple of those casual hookups) that what I want is a relationship.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was that I came incredibly hard. It was the best sex I ever had, and I have had great before.
The downside was that he seemed to not enjoy all of it as much as I did, even though that apparently was rooted in issues that had nothing to do with me.
Again, this hookup made me realize that there had been some type of shift for me, where the line between sex and emotions was blurred, in a way it hadn’t been before.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? Sex can be so complex, it is always a constellation of the expectations, needs, issues and desires of 2 (or more) people. It can be super easy or totally awkward.
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