What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 42
What’s your race/ethnicity? Hispanic / Latino/a
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? San Francisco
Highest education received: High school diploma
What’s your occupation? Customer Service
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Unrequited Oral Sex

How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 month

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He is 42, 5’10, 175lbs. He’s dark haired, wears glasses and is very handsome. I met him on Casual Encounters on Craigslist in November. He responded to my ad for an ongoing FWB relationship.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He responded to my ad for an ongoing FWB relationship.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We first met in a bar. I was nervous and didn’t want to hook up before at least meeting him in person. I was instantly attracted to him, but I was too shy to show it. One month later he contacted me to come over to his place and I did. He immediately requested a blow job. I was so nervous, but so attracted to him, so I got on my knees as he sat on the sofa and gave him a blow job.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? This has continued to current. He doesn’t keep in touch or return my texts. He only contacts me when he wants a blowjob. We only chat during the drive home when he drops me off.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Submission / Relinquishing power, Making new friends, Didn’t want to disappoint my partner

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A few close friends. My female friends showed strong disapproval and think I deserve better treatment. The men had mixed feelings. Some think it’s odd for a man to not want to penetrate me.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? At first, I was somewhat disappointed because I wanted him to pleasure my body, and I wanted to orgasm but I am enjoying this dynamic. I love submitting to him and bringing him pleasure.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I do wish he would at least touch me and keep in touch afterward.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes. It is training me to not fall in love or develop deep feelings with a sexual partner to keep from getting hurt.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I have feelings for him but I’m good at repressing them. That makes me feel strong.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Communication is key.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Keep it up!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!