What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 22
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? College/living off money from internship and scholarships
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? I like pretty people
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? I don’t know
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Using My Friend’s Mouth
How long ago did this hookup happen? Winter break of 2018
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I’ll call her B for this. She was one of my really good friends since the beginning of college. I met her through a mutual friend group and we were both studying computer science, so we ended up doing a lot of hw together. I never really had considered her a sexual partner, but I remember early on when we first met I mentioned that I missed cuddling with my ex-girlfriend from high school, and she offered to cuddle in a platonic way. I said she didn’t have to do that.
She dresses in dark clothes and a lot of layers with some kind of sweater or hoodie on top even if it’s hot out because she’s always cold and I think partially it’s because she is very modest and Mormon. Sometimes, she wears jeans or yoga pants and you can tell she is a little big, but she isn’t overweight. The top layers make it hard to tell as well, but you can tell she has a very large chest. She has kind of a chubby and pretty face with glasses with a big smile. She is very smart, kind of shy, and really funny.
Early on, I noticed she was kind of odd. She was really into k-pop (big BTS fan) and she kept it low key because I’d tease her about it. She surprisingly got her roommate, who is this really athletic cross-fit girl who I’m also friends with, into it and that’s when they would openly talk about it together when I’d come over because I was outnumbered. Overall she just came off as a little strange/goth and a little repressed, but she is honestly great and one of my best friends.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was in a bad place and I was inviting a couple of people over on rotation when I wanted a blowjob, to makeout, or just wanted someone in my bed. I always attract really Christian/generally religious girls because they know I’m not interested in going further. One night, one of my usuals had been really getting on my nerves because she wouldn’t leave in the morning, so I decided to try someone else. I feel bad saying this, but I knew B found me attractive for a long time but I just didn’t reciprocate anything. I was a little horny and sad so I just randomly sent her a “can I ask you something”. She replied really quickly, so I asked her how interested she’d be in messing around. She didn’t text back for a while and she asked me to define “messing around”. I told her you can come over and we can kiss a little, maybe cuddle, and we won’t even take off our pants. I was surprised that she said she was fine with this. She had been on one tinder date that ended badly and as far as I knew she didn’t have any other experience besides this.
We messed around and it was ok. We kind of awkwardly sat on the couch for 10 minutes catching up until I told her we should start. She kissed too hard and her jeans were scraping me. I was getting really tired of what we were doing so I asked her if I could kiss her chest through her shirt and if she liked it we would take her tops off. I, once again, was surprised that in a bit I was sucking on her nipples. She was moaning a lot when I kissed her neck, ears, or chest which I liked. Her tits were amazing, but she wasn’t the body type I like. I asked if she wanted me to rub the outside of her pants, but she very flatly refused. After that, I wasn’t really interested in doing that again and I felt pretty guilty for messing with her because I didn’t know if she liked me. Life went normally for some weeks during break and I was still really bored when she texted asking about if we could do it again.
I had an actual crush for this other girl I was talking to and I didn’t really enjoy the last experience so I figured I’d try to shock her out of it. I told her on sc “well I’m really into someone right now but I would at least consider if you attempted a 5 minute blowjob”. I figured that I’d rather her think I’m a pig than turn her down, but then she said she’d actually be down for that.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I was looking at my phone feeling really confused and extremely hard. Then I felt guilty. I ended up sending “I’ll set a timer lol” and she said she’d be over in a couple of hours. Then I told her what to wear. It felt really weird being nervous waiting for her to come over, as I had never really sexualized her before like this in my mind.
She got to my place in a hoodie with a couple of layers and yoga pants. It kind of started like last time, but we went to my room instead. We were in the middle of talking when she got down on her knees and slowly pulled my pants down. We were both still talking and laughing but the conversation was less awkward and mid-sentence she put my dick in her mouth. Her trying to talk during felt amazing, but she wasn’t moving very well so I put a finger in her mouth to show her how I wanted it and she learned really fast. I put her on the bed on her back to play with her tits while she sucked me off. Before I had asked her if she could take her bra off and she got it off without taking off her clothes. I didn’t really even want to take her shirt off I just put my hand in her cleavage to squeeze under her shirt and it looked amazing. The whole time she’d answer yes or no questions with an “mmhmm” which felt so amazing. Then I told her to open wide so I could face fuck her, and she did so obediently. She was following every instruction. There was no timer. I was getting the best blowjob of my entire life up until that point. Then she told me to choke her a bit while I face fucked her. I’d flip her over and grab her hair like a handle. Every once in a while I’d give her a break pull her away from my dick so I could kiss her lips, neck, or ears, and sometimes I’d lift up her shirt to suck on her tits and give her hickies. She was moaning the whole time like she’d never been touched before. I ended up laying down while sucked my dick so I could stare at her tits. I told her I was about to cum and I didn’t really think about what we were going to do about that so she took her mouth off and I immediately shot all over my own stomach. I looked up at her and had this big smile all out of breath.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I started inviting her over for homework alone in my room more often and those were the best blowjobs of my entire life. A few times we had to hide from some friends. I might write about those later. I finally started dating the girl I mentioned liking before and drifted apart from b. I also feel bad even when I’m with my girlfriend now I fantasize about the head from b a lot during sex, but we are both in actual relationships now. I really miss our friendship and seeing her. We still have some classes together, and occasionally talk shit and tell jokes, but we don’t actually hangout anymore.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Didn’t want to disappoint my partner, Boredom, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? One of my friends. They didn’t know her so they didn’t understand.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? I almost can’t separate new sexual experiences from her now. Almost every sexual encounter I have where I need to cum has to have me close my eyes and think about the head from b. It’s like having the best food in the world and the only way you can get hungry is to think about it. The worst part is I don’t think we are compatible for a relationship and I love my actual girlfriend, but I can’t get over this.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The head was so good that it permanently changed my life for the worst. The head was so good that it fucked me up.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The above, and I don’t hangout with my friend much anymore and have made some pretty shameful advances on her far after I should have.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I honestly think this has impacted my sexuality very negatively and I don’t really enjoy it as much anymore. I never really liked dominance I had only really done it was I was asked but for the first time it felt truly organic.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? It was literally too good for me. Be careful around girls that are sexually repressed, this one gave head that destroys your mind. I was fucking her mouth, but in reality, she was fucking me. I feel like I’m being punished.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I no longer seek it because I have a long term girlfriend and I probably wouldn’t seek it with anybody else again.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s interesting, but I really wish it was filled with more young people with genuine experiences. I think there should be some moderators for people that go on here just to slut shame and make stuff up.
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