What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 24
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Russia
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: I’m a former Orthodox and I still believe in something like God but I repulse the thing what Orthodoxy bacame and, nevertheless, I still love something in Chistianity. I’d call my set of mind “a crisis of faith”.
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Verbal sensuality
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 18
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 4 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? It was a guy from Tinder, a Norwegian who came to Moscow for learning Russian. He loved our literature and had a dream to cross the country on his motorcycle, so he was eager to connect with natives and practice his language skills. I set up our meeting at my favorite restaurant I was late, in a hurry and very fussy. I was going to him on a cab but we were stuck in the traffic, so I was worried I was going to miss him. I burst into the restaurant and I saw this perfect blond head. He had crystal blue eyes, beautiful cheekbones, sportive figure and he was just a little taller than me. He insisted on talking in Russian. I was hungry and ordered some food. He didn’t eat and looked at me cautiously. The date turned out to be very non-romantic, I wasn’t even sure if I liked him. We paid and took off saying goodbyes.
Next time we met was his last night in Moscow. It was after I got off work. When I got to him it was half past to midnight and I had only 30 minutes to see him because my home is outside of Moscow and I needed to catch my last train. We were talking, well, mostly I was talking and joking walking with him along Tverskaya (huge street in the center of Moscow) and he shyly laughed all the time, so I got the feeling he liked me. I told him that I had to leave because I needed to go home. He asked what could he do to make me stay. I told him I would spend the night with him, but no sex. He agreed so for his last night, he checked in a hotel.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Everything was very innocent. I hurriedly dressed off and dived under the blanket watching him taking his shirt and pants off. There was none of his notorious shyness anymore. He was so astonishing in his nudity like a mythical god. He was so conventionally attractive that, probably, I looked quite shocked. My look made him grin. He turned off the lights and got onto the other side of the bed. I was freezing somehow and couldn’t fall asleep. I knew he wasn’t sleeping also, so I asked if he could hug me to get warm. He immediately pulled me to his side and I placed my head on his wide firm chest. He smelled amazing and very fresh! I said it to him and he hugged me tighter. We were laying together and I felt strong fluids what were pouring from his body and then mine. My body was getting aroused by the minute. He murmured something very indistinct and I raised my head and my lips met such a passionate kiss!
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We were making out, crazily touching each other everywhere. I got on top of him and took off my top. I wanted him to see my breasts and I asked him if he likes them too. He said yes and smiled like a boy who found his dad’s pornographic magazines and started squeezing my breasts and sucking my nipples. I couldn’t help but moan. I wanted to blow him and took his boxers off. His penis was as perfect as all his body: average size, thick and pink like a dildo. And I took it in my hand and opened my mouth to suck it but my mouth felt so dry, so I jumped off the bed and got to the table where I’ve seen a bottle of water. We started making out again and he took off my pants to rub my clit. Then he stopped to put a condom on and slid inside of me. He was fucking me furiously, with my legs around his waist and hips. It felt very automatic. I was losing my excitement, so I asked him to speak out something in Norwegian ’cause the sound of Scandinavian languages is sexy for me. He shouted some phases breathlessly but there was no improvement from my side. He’s very healthy and sportive, he said he could fuck me for a whole night without coming. That seemed like a torture! I began to feel nothing and I knew I wouldn’t come, as I’ve never come with a guy and I wasn’t even close at the moment, so I told him. He stopped immediately, took off the condom, made a wall of pillows and went to sleep. I still wanted to cuddle but he wasn’t in the mood anymore.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? No
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I don’t know why I was euphoric in the morning. I guess as an artist I was so pleased by the appearance of my lover. We went together into the metro, I helped him to find the station with air-express trains, we had a friendly chat and kissed goodbye. I went to work and I felt euphoric for a whole day, I wrote to him that it all was very nice anyway and he’s very handsome. I asked him what he was saying in Norwegian when I asked him to talk a little. “Weather… I didn’t know what to talk about…” And I realized why it didn’t work!
We didn’t keep in touch and when he came to Moscow again, he didn’t have the desire to meet again.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, Making new friends, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told this story, with no details, to some of my colleagues and my sister.
Colleagues were happy for me and sister was hesitant.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat
Why do you regret this hookup? I couldn’t bring myself to the point to wholly enjoy it.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I learned something about my body and I had the opportunity to observe some new processes what it can engage.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The worst was his reaction to me losing my sensitivity. I needed a more attentive way but it was a one-night stand, so I guess he wasn’t there to explore the whole new world with me. He wanted just to have a good fuck and I can’t blame him for that.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Well, I understood pretty clear that I’d like to have a regular sex partner to find my way out of the unsatisfying experience but at that moment I couldn’t rely only on my physicals. I needed a complex of physical attraction and strong emotional connection. I don’t say love but love could make things much easier.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? No
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I truly am pro casual sex when you’re single and free. In my country it’s still stigmatized but everyone does it anyway. So I like to talk about such things openly, especially with young girls who were raised in a very patriarchal way. They still seek some approval from the society and society says “No, you can’t! it’s only for men!” But with who these men hook up like not these same young girls?
I feel morally uncomfortable reading stories about people who are in committed relationships with no set boundaries of their sexual behavior like some couples have in open marriages and etc. Maybe, because these people are so carefree engaging in those meaningless flings like they have no respect for their life partners at all.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I found in it the universal resource to observe sexual behavior from both genders and all ages. And I like to watch people’s behavior a lot.
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