by Wasp
What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 41
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Cape Cod
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Non profit social program
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Human Design
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 60?
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
WaNest
How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 months
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was tall, handsome, slightly heavy, great tattoos, a deep gravel voice, creative type who is quick to laugh. We met on Tinder, my only pic was a wasp nest. He was fascinated by that. We chatted and I figured out where he lived by his description, I had hooked up with the person who previously lived in his dwelling! Since it was many years previous we had a good laugh about it.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We had a great convo about what we were looking for. We seemed to agree on the terms and met for lunch a few days later then went back to his place.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We are both kinky and we got right into it. Oral on both of us, anal, spanking, choking. We talked before and after about what we liked and how to improve. I felt good, we had great communication and were a good physical match. He was considerate and respectful before during and after
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Well, it went on for a while. 8 months or so. He was “busy” all the time which felt like a rejection since I’m a full-time single Mom who has little free time. He texted me nearly daily and I felt like we were truly friends with a great arrangement. It lasted until I realized that he was seeking others which would have been ok if he told me. I was under the impression we were exclusive but not committed. Since we communicated so often I felt close to him. We talked about our lives in an honest open way. I miss him but know it was best to end it due to his lack of forthcoming honesty.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, Condoms, Discussed STI testing history, Plan B / Emergency contraception
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, I was feeling lonely, Making new friends
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My best friends. They thought it was great due to the open communication
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? When I realized he was seeking others I overreacted. I miss the friendship part as much as the sex
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? We got along very well and the sex was great
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? It ended abruptly
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Well, this hook up was great. I keep trying to find others but keep getting rejected, denied or dismissed. So, my self-esteem has gotten low
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Sex can be a beautiful intimate experience but it is a primal urge for procreation. I do feel empowered as a single woman to be able to make the coices I do. I don’t talk about it much because of the social stigma. I’d like to see a change in attitudes towards women and their sexual choices
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s great! Keep it up
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