What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 57
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Northern California
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Writer
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: No religion, but I believe in Karma
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? A couple dozen or more
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
How long ago did this hookup happen? Two years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? A very hot light skinned African American woman. I’d known her for awhile and was always attracted. We met for a drink and it was clear there was interest. I wanted her bad.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? At a bar, then her apartment. No real planning. We had met for drinks a couple of times, flirted and the next thing you know we were passionately making out.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? It was quick, passionate and it felt great. She was very into it, which is the same as a good lover if you ask me. We didn’t talk much. It ended when I had to go back home to my wife.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt great. I envisioned meeting up with her on a regular basis for sex and I think she would have been into it. I was thinking about sex with her constantly for about a week and then we slept together again and I was very surprised that the fire in me had gone away. I must have internalized some guilt even though I didn’t actually feel it, but something was wrong. I was still attracted to her, but it was clear to both of us that it was over.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s)
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Nobody
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? We fucked. That’s always good in my book. Also, I learned that I’m really not totally comfortable cheating on my wife. That’s probably good too.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Learning that I’m not really comfortable cheating on my wife.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, I have often obsessed over my desire to have casual sex and then, when I do, I found out I have some kind of guilt or fear associated with it
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I had plenty of casual sex before marriage and would have had a lot more had it been available to me. Men don’t always get to choose, you know. I also would have had, and still would like to have, more kinky sex and role playing sex.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think you should have a survey instead of having people just share their boastful stories. I wanted to talk about casual sex in general, not discuss a single event.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!