by The Teacher
Race/ethnicity: South Sudanese/ African
Current location: South Sudan
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
Occupation: Dance Teacher
Relationship status: Single
Religious affiliation: Muslim
How religious are you? Somewhat
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? Not fully explored
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 7
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
What a Night
How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 weeks ago
How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? I didn’t plan for it but ONS, I guess.
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was tall, with a white complexion (this feels wrong), good-looking for most people, had a beard and was big. One of the first times I saw him I caught a glimpse of his ‘protruding tummy’ and thought, ‘GOSH.’ Had no effect on hindering this sexual encounter though, no, siree. No.
He was a ‘friend’ of a friend and I heard both good and bad about him,before I saw him. He seemed to be in his thirties, but looked and dressed slightly younger. He had a gruff voice and was very boisterous and felt no shame for it. Once he actually called a waiter from a restaurant we were in and asked him to go grab him something from the nearby store! And saw no problem with whatsoever. Funny guy.
Anyway, I felt normal about him. Just a guy who is rumored to be a heartbreaker, he was civil and nice enough. I never thought twice about him, but constantly heard about him from friends. One of them had been sleeping with him and felt he wasn’t on the same page as het. So of course I heard things. But this guy was at the back if,my mind, he spoke in a low, sexy voice to me once about whether I was feeling ‘comfortable’ and I’d mentioned that I like a certain accent and as I was leaving on one of the nights we hung out, he was on the couch and I was standing getting ready to go, and he opens his legs real wide and starts speaking in the accent I mentioned earlier.. I knew what he was doing. And I laughed in my head because I didn’t feel a thing. Turns out I don’t like the accent that much.. Who knew. When we hung out there was always reefer and alcohol. I don’t drink but I used to have a few sips here and there. It’s good to be honest, but nothing really happens to me..anyway, I digress. Again. We’d be in a group and we’d talk and roll and listen to music and stuff. As a group. Some time later I get his number because my friend wants me to give him,something. We talked. He had left after that time we were all hanging out together, but came back again and called. I wasn’t so nice, I was usually a bit mean with this guy, considering all the stories I heard of crap he’s pulled before. He asked if we could meet so I can give him what my friend wanted.. But on the other side,my friend was catching feelings and told me to ignore him. So I did.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was working on a project and had to travel, I needed advice on something regarding the country I was in… And thought, who do I know here? It was this guy. I emailed him and he asked for my number. Didn’t help me but said we should ‘catch up’. At first i thought he ignored me, because he took his sweet time to answer so I fired an angry email at him..to which he replied saying he’ll be in town soon and that i should give him my number.
My two weeks were almost up. I was going to a concert on a Saturday. I was dancing when this guy calls me at 2AM.. I figure we’re all cool and ‘youngish’ for him. So i answered and he asked if I was alone in my hotel. I lied and said no. Then said we should meet so I thought of the concert (public place, wtf is this guy thinking..what of my catching feelings friend?).. He said okay and we talked about liquor. He said he’d bring a bottle and as I wasn’t a drinker I said no to that, he quickly answers and says we could do it together, at his place – where it’s private. In my head i saw visions of tequila shots, laughs, dancing, catching up with someone in this foreign city..yes a sexy guy, but he was nothing to me. Someone my friend likes and is bad news. Discreetly i got a good vibe from him and missed him before i even knew him. I felt he was cool and i could have been his friend..i liked him in a strange way..from afar. I went to bed after saying we would drink together. I go to the concert and he never showed. He had told me to text, but I didn’t. I started to need to see him for some reason… I was distracted throughout the whole concert and wanted him to see me in my sexy little dress. I went back to the hotel disappointed.
Again around 2am he calls. Over two hours since i got back from the concert. I didn’t pick up the first three times. He called again and apparently he wanted to see me. Say hi, he said. I lied again and said I was with a dear friend and couldn’t leave. To that he replied, bring your friend…let’s go for ice cream. He asked me to send my location and I didn’t know how.. So he told me how to do it, he was on his way. Oh, right, i asked him why he was calling so late (i thought maybe he couldn’t get off with anyone, so he called me at the end of the night) to which he replied ‘It’s *the city we were in*, BABY!’ I was sold. He came and I went down to meet him, I couldn’t see anyone there and I refused to move. I sat for a while and turns out the flashy, big car parked a little to my left was his. I extended my hand through the window to shake his, and he said what are you doing, get in. We laughed a bit at that. He had cranberry vodka and wanted to buy something from the shop. He told he to have some, I said it didn’t taste good to me and he said this was great stuff, only for birthdays and such. We drove around for a while, I hate to admit it but I instigated it. I wanted to show him what a good kisser I was. But just that. We stopped at the shop and chatted about work, me leaving the next day and him saying he would help me with my project (the advice I needed was related to it). I told him there was something of wanted to do. He asked what and I said pull over. He did, I leaned in and he met me. We kissed. He was vocal, I went on his neck and he said it felt great. He asked me to come back to his place, I kept saying no (my make-believe friend was waiting for me) I said don’t drive too far away from the hotel. We parked in a garage and kissed again, he took out my boob and sucked on it. He was going crazy. I kept moving away and saying we should go back, and that people could see us. He kept telling me to come closer, swiftly he pulled up the thing between the two front seats so it was more like a couch and pulled me with one, strong move. We kissed some more and he snuck his hands into my pants (which I specifically chose over my little concert dress to make ease of access impossible) and he put his tongue in my ear. Honestly, that was the most intense feeling I’ve ever had from ear licking / kissing. I surprised myself when I started moaning on full blast. The horror! And to my bad luck it was the same time he was around my ass/ vajayjay. He felt me and enthused, ‘ YOU’RE SOOO WET!!!’ ………. Just no. I was embarrassed and try to play it cool, it’s like when guys figure out you’ve smoked reefer… They always have this snarky, gotcha, kind of tone in their voice. Same tone here. Did not appreciate. He made me feel him, then said I have to go home with him that I awoke a beast. I said no, he wasn’t sweet and caring and attentive anymore. I knew this cold, disconnected and careful behavior. I’d know it anywhere, it was the look of a man who was turned down for sex. They do not like that do they. And they flip the switch on us so fast, one minute you’re hot stuff the next like their boring old auntie. It works well to make you feel guilty for daring to say no to fulfilling the sex god’s particular whim at that point in time. I also recall him telling me to ‘Sit on it’ back in the car. Which I declined. It takes me a while to get confortable and there would be no sitting on a member I only half- saw in a dark car. He gave a talk about my friend, cleared the air. Said he’s not a bad guy, was married before. I believed him. We smoked Dokha and he drank, I said I had a nice pipe and he said thanks. He heard it, you have a nice pipe. We were comfortable, decided to go back to his place to hang out and he said he would drop me back in the morning. We got there, took the elevator up. He said I was a good kisser, I said I knew. We walked in.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I didn’t want to have sex so there was some resistance on my side. He took me to a messy room and I sat on a chair. He pulled me up and started kissing me. We had some drinks, his finished, mine full. I kept stopping him saying I need to drink. He said he wanted some too and he almost finished it, I told him off..it was a habit of his. Kissing again, he pushed me on the bed and told me to take it off. I said I didn’t want sex, he said we could do oral, said he wanted to eat me out. I bargained with him and we finally settled on naked massage. He was on his stomach and I was on his back, naked. I massaged him for a while. He said I hurt him a little so I tried to make up for it by giving more of the good rubbing.. He told me to stick my tongue in his ear, never did that to a guy before, he went crazy. The combination of the massage and ear licking were apparently good. For the first time I thought the inside of someone’s ear was sexy, I loved having my tongue there. He turned around and was wild, he flipped my over and started kissing me and touching me. His energy was contagious, I too got excited. He said I liked to fight, which maybe he was right about. He touched me and said That’s a beautiful pussy. That was so hot to hear. He pushed himself inside me, I was on my back. He was really big and curved. It hurt a little, I think I need more than just jackhammering. I was trying to tolerate the pain. He was sweet and this went on for a while until he came. He started laughing hysterically and I was surprised, turns out he laughs when he comes. It was overwhelming, I moved away and he pats his shoulder and tells me to lie on his arm. That moment was to die for. I did, we talked about sex and random things. He mostly asked the questions, I think he does this a lot, how many people had I slept with, when was the last time I had sex ( I said a year but in fact is was more like seven months). He asked if I had anal, no I said (a technical lie- happened once). He kissed my ass, throughout he would stick his finger in there, or try to, but I kept saying, ow. I guess that’s why he asked. Said he would love to have anal with someone like me ( what that means is beyond me) so he said did you like it when I put my finger there, I said it feels good maybe three outta seven times. He said I had a beautiful ass, more than once, just before he licked it and ate it all out. It was new for me, not too bad, though I asked him if he got grossed out…after all it’s an ASS! He said not at all. He turned me over and ate me out, that was good. He then held my legs straight up in the air and fucked me. He asked first how I like it, fast or slow. I said slow … At first. He pumped me some more. He was big, was upset he couldn’t get it all in. Asked whether there are penis reduction surgeries. I shook my head, unamused. He went at it doggie style and it hurt still so I couldn’t take it. We rested for a while, he was still hard. We had been going at it for a long time, he says see what my wife would go through? I want to roll my eyes but he had a point. He was insatiable. Mentioned being a previous drug and sex addict. Said he doesn’t do relationships. Anyway, he came again, this time in my ass while I held it open for him…apparently he likes that. I was disoriented, went to the bathroom washed with water and stepped out..says that’s it? No soap, no shampoo? I thought we weren’t done…? Just told you I hadn’t come? So I mumble something about feeling outta place cuz it was someone else’s house. I felt things took a negative turn from there. I hated everything past this point. He wouldn’t switch off the light like I asked, was distant (guess that oxytocin shot out with that second ejaculation) and annoyed me with the loud sound of him tapping messages to the people he abandoned since our somewhat fruitful romp. No doubt the girl whose face was his wallpaper was one of them. I was cold and hungry, needed to brush my teeth. He was relaxed but also hungry. Said I could sleep while he went and got food, I declined. I got in his self-driving car and had an awkward ride back. I was sleepy and felt bad, my friend, the rough non orgasming sex, my breath! A song played it was all about cheating, he laughed and said wrong choice. He gave a woman who cut him off the middle finger then chased her and cut her off. I didn’t feel like talking and he was cheerful and singing. Said the way I’m looking at him is funny. It was a long uncomfortable ride. The night before he said his place was twenty minutes away when he was tryna convince me to go.
Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? No. He had two.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? I asked him whether he did random and he said no. I said then how come you’re jumping into bed with me so fast, said I turned him on when we all hung out. I said well what about STI’s he said do you have any? I don’t sleep around, so no. I meant you, dummy. But as it is a dog’s world, he asked me and didn’t disclose anything about him. No mention of a condom and none was used. I was on a safe day, he pulled out twice. Once on the floor,ew. And once in my ass, double ew now.
What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I didn’t want a hookup, it escalated. I wanted to feel good and have fun. I also wanted some male attention (7 months with no one on the radar). I hate the aftermath though. The sex only felt good the next day, I tried to see him but he didn’t reply to my text.
Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? A little bit of Vodka
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We had a huge fight, I blamed him for the escalation and told him how bad I felt. He told me to go kill myself and get off his nuts, that I wanted it and I initiated it with the car kiss. That I wasn’t all that and he’d seen better. Glad he did not text for second day sex.
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? One friend. He told me to be happy I was laid and proceed to not give a fuck. Told him I felt I cheated my friend and he said he wasn’t her man. That there was chemistry and that’s life. I mentally threw myself off a high building. Do not want to be part of the great movement that is sex. The consequences are daunting.
Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? It was unwanted, but consensual. For the guy as well.
Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Yes, I felt bad afterwards. My confidence decreased when he sent those emails and when he didn’t come see me the next day. I regret it because the way he acted afterwards was disgusting, not replying ir replying selectively. I hated his guts. I am the coolest girl and he made me feel like a needy little kid.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The spontaneity, the making out, feeling wanted. The fun before the actual sex, being told you were beautiful, being intimate with someone. What I loved about him was how open he was, asking questions about what I liked (which I had no answer to) and how giving he was as a lover..my, my. He definitely
showed me that there are some guys who are on point. If I hadn’t had this casual encounter, I wouldn’t have known. I enjoyed giving him the massage more than anything, I liked making him happy. During spooning sex, I wrapped my legs around his and he was a bit surprised and said that was so hot. He said he loved everything I did. These comments are one of the best things. The worst.. The cold shoulder after, the bluntness. This hookup made me more sexually confident, the guy was really good. I can get into people’s minds pretty quickly so I picked up a lot. I have vivid fantasies and I will no longer hold back in bed. Casual sex is a great teacher. But do it at your own risk, it could get ugly. Be prepared for the worst.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Very negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? Casual sex is not something I do but I am glad I had this sexual experience. It was awkward and I wouldn’t do it again because of the way I feel after. I got all what I can from it. I feel I am ready to blow a guy’s mind away. But someone special. I feel animalistic and am constantly turned on. I like this new raw me, but not how it came about.
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