by Sweethana

Gender: Female
Age: 31
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Current location: Germany
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Relationship status: Single
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 8
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

When a Man Gets Stuck In His Own Head

How long ago did this hookup happen? 5 months

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Short fling

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met him via an online dating site. First time we met we just talked and got to know each other. On the second date we started kissing and making out heavily but when I let him know that I wanted things to go further he didn’t take me up on the offer (yes very uncommon for a guy like him, read why below). I liked the way he was kissing me, he sort of pushed me against a wall and the dominant feel of that got me very excited.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? On the third date we met up close to his apartment (it was pretty clear that this date was definitely going to end with us having sex) and went for a walk in a bit of forrest first. He eventually started kissing me again and we made out heavily in the forrest and I was very, very ready to make it to his apartment (too many people walking around the forrest at night). But when we were about to get there, he stopped me. And I finally found out why he had been acting a bit strange. Turns out he is a (divorced) dad of two daughters. Which I thought was completely fine but was a bit annoyed that he had kept this a secret. He had waited until this moment to tell me because when we got to the apartment it was quite clear that he had kids. They weren’t there but their things lay around everywhere.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We sat on the couch in his living room for a while and talked, it took me a while to digest all of this information. But I liked him, so eventually I snuggled up to him and he started caressing me very gently. I had expected to have sex that evening so I was already in a sexy mindset and all that making-out in the forrest had gotten me quite ready. Plus this guy knew how to touch a woman, he could be soft and subtle but at the same time switch to strong and dominant when things got steamier. When they did, we went over to his bedroom (and locked out the cat). I started undressing myself only leaving my panties on and he took his shirt off as well. I lay down on the bed and motioned for him to join me. We started kissing heavily (I loved the way he was pinning me down while doing that) and his mouth quickly travelled down my neck, biting me ever so gently and he then started teasing my nipples which I enjoyed VERY much. He continued downward to perform oral sex on me. I didn’t come but he scored some major points with me for his skills. I wanted to return the favor so asked him to take of his pants and this is where it got akward. Before he did take them off, he explained that he had what was called a “blood penis”. Honestly, I didn’t give a damn, I just wanted to show him as much pleasure and more as he had just shown me. But I could tell that he was very uncomfortable about his size. Now, granted, he did have a small penis but again, I just wanted to make the guy happy and when he asked me to give him a hand in getting hard I skipped the hand part and began giving him a blow-job. Which apparently he enjoyed very much because he came within 2 minutes. He tried to stop it but came before I even knew what had happened. Unfortunately, that was the end of it. After that all he did was apologize and give me long explanations, he said I was simply too hot and the oral action had pushed him over the edge, then he continued coming back to explaining about his size. I wasn’t terribly upset because I had a lot of fun during foreplay. I guess it annoyed me much more that he was putting himself down so much. For me sex is something to be enjoyed and not a performance that must be measured. He was great at the enjoying part up to the point when his pants came off.
After that I decided to simply cuddle him for a while until he fell asleep. I usually can’t sleep at a new guy’s place so I kissed him goodbye in the early morning and went home.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I didn’t, it usually takes a vibrator to be involved in order for me to come, not something I’d bring out this early on 😉
He did.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Well, we would have used a condom but that never became an issue. I also take the pill. We didn’t talk about our STI history.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was trying to figure out if we were a good fit.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? No alcohol.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We didn’t meet again. I liked him but the fact that he kept his kids a secret and the way he told me really made me mistrust him. I didn’t see any potential for a relationship so I communicated that. He seemed a bit disappointed.
Since I have a lovely ‘friends with benefits’ (FWB) arrangement with another man, sex was not my main motivator.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked to close friends (including the FWB guy) about it. They were just as surprised about how this story ended, as I was.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Consensual for both.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No, I don’t regret it. I gained another valuable experience and I love learning new things about sex and experiencing a new partner.
I did feel bad that I might potentially have added to his anxieties though. Even though the reason things didn’t continue were much more in his character than in his pants (and I told him as much in nicer words, highlighting the fact that I thought he was actually a great lover), I am almost certain, that he interpreted it differently.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Apart from the somewhat awkward ending I enjoyed the physical part very much, his way of touching me softly in one moment and pinning me down on the bed in the next was HOT. He was an attentive lover, who wanted to give pleasure as much as he wanted to receive it. He definitely pushed some good buttons when it comes to mental turn-ons as well: dominance being most prominent.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

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