by Chocolate Bear

Gender: Male
Age: 46
Race/ethnicity: Hispanic
Current location: Switzerland
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Occupation: Engineer
Relationship status: Married
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? Poly
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 19
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

With a Little Help From Google Translate

How long ago did this hookup happen? Last year

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Polyamory

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I meet a french girl over the internet, she was finishing her studies. We started exchanging long mails about everything. She would write in French and I would answer in English.  She is trying to learn English and I am trying to improve my French.  We meet after she finished her semester, I was traveling back from Germany.
After so many long emails we knew each other quite well despite never having met in person.  We meet at my hotel and then went for dinner at a nice restaurant in the city.  I really liked her thirst for knowledge and her mature attitude to life.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? When she arrived to the hotel lobby she greeted me with a kiss in the mouth, took me fully by surprise, and then we went to my room where I had a bottle of champagne ready to celebrate her finishing her end of year project and getting a really good grade. The kiss must have been good because as we were leaving to go to the restaurant she told me that after the restaurant we could go to her place where she could pick up her stuff and come back to the hotel with me.
I had definitely not counted on this, and I don’t think she did either. I had been counting on a nice dinner to get to know each other and maybe some kissing but nothing more. It was spirit of the moment, and her decision to come back to the room with me.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? When we came back to the room first we took a shower together and I realized that she was kind of shy showing herself. After the shower we went to bed naked and hugged and kissed for a long time. I gave her oral pleasure until she reached orgasm.  We cuddled and turned off the lights. We kept talking in the dark, she told me the story of her life and I told her mine.  She was talking to me in french and I was answering in english, and while I could understand most of what she was telling me, it was clear to me that she did not understand me very well. Sometime in the middle of the night we started kissing and cuddling again, and at some point in time I asked her if it was ok if we did intercourse.  Since it was not clear that we were understanding each other we turned on her laptop and started chatting using google translate, asking her if she had condoms, which she had, and getting her OK to have intercourse, which she did.
I gave her oral pleasure until she orgasmed again, and then she rode me to my highest point.  She was quite passive in bed, but the connection we had really made up for it. She has beautiful long red hair which I love, and fantastic soft skin which I enjoyed kissing every inch of.  We went for breakfast next morning and then I drove her to her parents’ place somewhere on the way home.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? Yes we both did.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Condoms, we did speak about our current relationship status. Since we both believe in polyamory (loving more than one person at a time with the consent of everyone involved) it is important to be open and upfront about STI history.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was looking for somebody new in my Poly life.  It was a very interesting intellectual exchange, and she is a beautiful girl.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? We had some champagne when we met and some white wine during dinner, we were both sober.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We met and traveled together twice, but then her boyfriend asked her for sexual exclusivity again.  The problem is that I had fallen madly in love with her, and of course she had not.  And I mean the kind of love that makes you lose weight and plays with your feelings as in a roller coaster. I kept traveling to see her every two months or so, and our kissing and cuddling continued.  It took me a long time to get over her.  Right now we are just friends.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I have two female friends whom we exchange our adventures in poly land. They were very supportive, and listened to me when I was down.  Both told me early enough to just get over her, but it took me longer than what everyone expected.  They were both happy when I finally moved on with my life.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes for both, especially after that google translate session 🙂

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? No.  I think I was in a point in life where I just needed someone to fall in crazy love again.  I was lucky that she was in another relationship that kept her grounded, otherwise I could have done stupid things that I would regret now.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best was the feeling of being in love again.  Losing several kilos that never came back. Feeling several years younger.
The worst was going through all the ups and downs of a love that falls out of grace. However as much as it was painful it felt good to be able to experience this again.
This was my first side relationship after opening up our marriage.  It helped me understand what falling in love is. I have been more careful to not expose myself so naively on my new relationships.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? I recommend reading the article about Limmerence in Wikipedia, which explains the phenomenon of falling in love, and how you go through all these ups and downs

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!