What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 33
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? U.S.
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? public service
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Open to play but primarily straight
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 9
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? a year ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We met at a work conference. It was a dreary event, as most work conferences are, but we happened to be in the same space and when we made eye contact, sparks flew. We quickly made our way to each other and started up some small talk, but just as quickly began flirting. He was handsome and tall, clearly athletic, square jaw, thick stubble, blue eyes. Almost generically manly-handsome. If we didn’t clearly have so much chemistry from the get-go, I would have wondered why such a incredibly good-looking man was talking to me. Also, he was noticeably older, mid-40s, with grey at the temples. I found this very attractive. In our conversation (the ‘where are you from/what do you do’ chit-chat), he told me (with some noticeable awkwardness) that he was married. I will admit that I felt a pang in my stomach as he told me this, but I forced myself to be outwardly cool. The convention was nearly a week long, and he was by far the most interesting person I had met, so I didn’t want to cut off any potential for hanging out the rest of that week.
After we parted ways to attend to work things, we bumped into each other later in the day. He asked me if I wanted to hang out and get a beer later. I was both skeptical, as I have been hit on by married men before, but also super eager, as I was very attracted to him. I told myself that it was innocent, and that we were just going to make the most of an otherwise-boring week, but in reality I was hoping we would hook up.
That first night, we did get a beer, then dinner, then another beer. We hung out at the bar a long time, flirting heavily, chemistry strong. I wondered if he would kiss me, but he didn’t. I felt a little awkward seeing him the next day, knowing how much I had flirted with him the night before, but he seemed more even excited to see me the next morning because of it. By the end of the second day, he suggested that we go out again, and I accepted.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He was dropping me off at my hotel after our second evening out, and asked me if I wanted to come back to his hotel room with him. I hesitated, knowing that he was married, but he assured me it was fine. I said yes and we kissed, then we went back to his hotel.
In his room, we settled in but I still felt nervous. We had been hanging out for the entire evening, so our conversation from before carried over, yet I still couldn’t be entirely at ease. I spent a while poking through his room, looking at his view. I sat on his bed in the hotel room, talking about a band and playing some music from him on my phone. He turned it off and put it aside, then moved up on to the bed next to me and started kissing me.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We quickly started to undress each other as we made out. He felt me all over and spent quite a while admiring my body. After he pulled off my bra, he sucked on my nipples which turned me on a great deal. He then pulled off my underwear and licked my pussy for a while. It was very good, and while I normally am not into oral sex, I was extremely turned on by it and I realized I had lifted my hips off the bed to push myself into his face. After that, I got up onto all fours and sucked his dick was he rubbed my ass and lightly spanked me. He kept spreading my ass open, then got behind be and licked my asshole. He did that for a while, long enough for me to ponder the fact that he was really into it, then he got up behind me and slipped his dick into me. I was both slightly shocked that he would do so without asking and without protection, but also very turned on by it. He only pushed himself into me once before pulling out and pushing me back onto the bed.
He then told me he wanted me to cum, and asked me if I would through licking or fucking. I told him fucking, but also not to pressure me (since it’s nearly impossible to do so under pressure, amirite?). He pulled out a condom, put it on, and pulled my hips down to his crotch. He fucked me like that, basically in missionary position, until he came.
After, he spooned me and gently ran his hands over my hips and back. HIm doing this made me feel very turned on (especially since I didn’t cum when we first had sex) and before too long, I crawled on top of him and we started kissing again. His dick was hard again, so he got another condom and we fucked. I stayed on top of him and fucked him until I came. I came very loud and hard.
It was an incredibly satisfying, gratifying hook up. In fact, the sex was electric. We were both tuned into each other and enjoying each other’s bodies. We were open with what we were feeling and what we wanted, and telling each other turned us on more.
Afterward, we laid in his bed and kissed. After a while, he asked if I wanted to sleep over and that he could drive me back to my room early in the morning. I told him that I had to go back that night, so he took me back then.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The next day, I was both excited to see him but a little nervous. He was eager to see me and let me know. His eagerness set me ease. The chemistry was still there, stronger than before. I figured that we would spend the rest of the conference together, and we did. We had every meal together, met up during all of our breaks, and spent the rest of our evenings together. I brought my things over to his hotel room and stayed with him the rest of the conference.
Afterwards, I assumed that we wouldn’t be in contact except for the annual conference. Instead, we stayed in touch and our relationship continued. We are currently still seeing each other, occasionally in person, and still talking on a regular basis. He is still married. His wife doesn’t know about me or our relationship.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, IUD (Intrauterine device)
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My two closest friends. One reacted with reservation, since he is married and it doesn’t speak well to him. The other was enthusiastic, and she encouraged me to seek pleasure.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Excellent sex with an extremely attentive, attractive partner. Ultimately, an ongoing and satisfying relationship.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The fact that he is married and it has caused some stress in us navigating that issue.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? That sex with two people who are attracted to each other and interested in sex can be affirming and pleasurable. I have had sex wth people for the wrong reasons before, and it made me wary about casual sex. This made me realize that pleasure for pleasure’s sake wasn’t a terrible thing.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Consenting adults know what they’re doing
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I believe that casual sex for the sake of enjoyment and pleasure can be great. I’ve also had casual sex with other partners that haven’t been as respectful or attentive, and the sex has ultimately been less satisfying. I haven’t maintained those relationships because the sex isn’t up to par. Casual sex without equal amounts of chemistry, affection, and respect, isn’t fulfilling. Casual sex should be highly affirming and playful, a safe place to explore kinks.
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