by Cecelia Tallis

Gender: Female
Age: 31
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Current location: Oregon
Highest education received: High school diploma
Occupation: Unemployed
Relationship status: Open marriage
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 1

Worst Hook Up Ever

How long ago did this hookup happen? Almost two weeks

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? One night stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was white, medium height, medium build. His head was shaved but looked light in color. We met that night at a local bar. I thought he was cute and caught him checking me out.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I approached his table where he sat with some friends. Asked to sit. We chatted/flirted. Soon we were kissing, a lot. He and his friends invited me over to the friends’ house to hang out after the bar closed. After playing a round of Cards Against Humanity, the friends disappeared and cute guy and I started making out again.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? First, he put his hand down the front of my pants. I tried to reciprocate and put my hand down his pants….couldn’t find his penis. That was the first red flag…So I decided to just take his pants off. Disappointed, I discovered his penis to be very, very tiny. Which I am fine with a small dick as long as they know what to do with it or at least can compensate with awesome oral/hand play. So, I go down on him for a couple of minutes, then he suggests we go up to the guest bedroom. Up there, in the dark, we undress and he lies on the bed, then I climb on top. He lost his erection, so I rubbed against him to try and get him hard. Nothing. Then he said I was really good at giving head and asked if I would go down again. So I did. Then he went down….he couldn’t find my clit. Then he fingered me but it was less of a fingering than it was being punched in the vagina repeatedly. Then he asked if I was on birth control, which I am, but I insisted on using a condom which I provided. He couldn’t stay hard enough to get the condom on. So he kind of rubbed his flaccid penis on me. Then asked if I would blow him again. So I did until he came.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I did not. He did.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Birth control and we used a condom but he couldn’t get it on.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I thought he was cute and that it would be fun.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Alcohol. He blamed the alcohol for losing his erection repeatedly.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He proceeded to spoon me which was awkward after such an embarrassing (for him, I gave a kick ass blow job) performance. So, I laid there maybe five minutes, then I made up an excuse to leave and got the hell out of there. He got my number but never contacted me, thankfully.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My husband, and my three friends who know about my open marriage.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Yes. It was the worst sexual experience of my life.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Kissing at the bar was the best and everything afterwards was the worst. It made me want to stick with a fuck buddy instead of random hook ups.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Very negative

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