by Kaye Katz
What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 20
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Toronto
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Restaurant Hostess
What’s your current relationship status? In love with the wrong person
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? No
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Right Person
How long ago did this hookup happen? 5 months ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually
How would you best classify this hookup? Short fling
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? My partner was an engineering student. He was an extremely tall, well-built man. He had delicate features, round eyes, and thin, arched eyebrows. He was in his mid-twenties but had soft creases around his eyes and mouth. His hair was dark and curled slightly. He had extremely good style and a wide smile that was not too perfect and white.
We had initially met on Tinder, I was on the app after feeling lonely and neglected by a casual boyfriend I had been seeing since the summer. I swiped right on him because I thought he was cute and he had a bio that made me laugh, I had no intentions on ever seeing him or ever becoming close with him. However, from the getgo, I felt oddly connected to him. It turns out that this cute boy I randomly matched with on an app was very similar to me and it was beyond the usual similarities people on Tinder have (i.e watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S, loving a good glass of wine, anal, etc.). Turns out we grew up in the same area, went to the same school, knew the same people, and to my surprise, both of our parents were from the same town in Sicily and immigrated to Canada the same year together (unknowingly of course). We both had similar ambitions, worldviews, and ideals. So even though we met on Tinder, it was almost like I reunited with an old friend and we quickly ditched the app in favor of text messaging and Snapchat. We talked for a few weeks before he finally asked me out on a lunch date. I met him on a sunny and mild December afternoon at the subway station closest to our house and we went down together.
Before the date, I felt nervous. I was still sort of involved with the last guy I was casually dating and was scared of being caught. However, I felt emotionally compelled to see this guy because of the emotional connection we had. I found him attractive and the fact that we had so much in common made me feel that no matter what was going to happen, I could possibly have a friend out of the situation.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? After our lunch date, we decided that the weather was nice and it was still too early to call it a day that we decided to take a walk around downtown Toronto. From the moment I met him, we were slightly touchy and flirty but not in an overly suggestive way. The more we walked the closer we got and we were eventually holding hands. I decided to leave it up to him on whether or not we should make the first move because I’m the type of girl not to be too desperate. Eventually, we ended up at his university campus and we were so cold we walked into one of the buildings. One thing led to another and we found an empty (religious studies) classroom and sat down and talked some more before he made the move and kissed me, passionately.
Throughout the date, I felt the tension but I was not expecting or anticipating for any of this to happen. But when it did happen I felt such a burden lifted off my shoulders and felt so relieved that he felt as strongly as I did with him.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We made out and did some heavy petting for a few minutes, laughing and flirting in between kisses. Once again I put the pressure on him to decide on what to do next because even though I wanted it so badly, I didn’t want to come across as easy. He felt me up and made me take off my shirt and pants and played with me for a few minutes before he picked me up and laid me down on a desk, getting ready to have sex with me but I got too nervous about the possibility of somebody walking in, and wanted to save us actually having sex for a better moment and stopped him before he could make any further move. Instead, I pushed him to take a seat and gave him the blowjob of my life instead. As I was unzipping his pants he asked me if I was sure I wanted to do anything at all because of my prior apprehension but I assured him that yes, I really wanted to suck his dick. I wanted to please him so badly.
He was a little bit nervous at first, as we were in a university classroom and there was a possibility of being caught but once I started he was fine. He was the perfect balance of being dominate but not being too cocky about it. He was equally sexy and controlling as he was comforting.
He ended up finishing in my mouth because it was the easiest and cleanest way to go through with it.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hookup, we both found a washroom, cleaned up, smoked a cigarette and walked around for another hour or so before taking the subway back home. He stayed with me beyond his stop and made sure I got home safe.
When I got home I felt radiant, even though it was only oral the entire date to me was a success because he exceeded my expectations. I had to hold myself back from gushing about him to my sister and my mother.
After the date, we continued to talk and he took me out on more dates, and we eventually had wonderful sex. Each time I saw him I found myself falling for him more and more. We became so emotionally attached and so involved with each other I eventually couldn’t help but tell my friends and eventually my family. He made me so unbelievably happy and I was expecting us to eventually end up in an exclusive relationship. However, past emotional baggage and other issues took precedence as time went on, and after 6 months of sort of tiptoeing around being an exclusive and genuine relationship, he broke things off with me, in a crude matter. It left me extremely heartbroken because we were so emotionally intimate, and also because I just felt like there were so many signs that we were so right for each other. I was always the rebellious girl that didn’t care about monogamy and just wanted to have a good time with whomever I wanted and he really changed that. He made me believe in tradition again and into thinking about being with somebody in the long term. It’s a shame things never ended up fleshing out to be what I hoped they would be.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, No penetrative sex happened
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told my best friend immediately after the hookup because of the sheer insanity of it all.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? Sometimes, I wish I would have taken things a bit slower, maybe if I would have known his intentions I would not have let it happen. Also, I like leading men on and don’t like the feeling of being easy. However, I don’t regret actually having sex with the guy.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Being so close with someone I met mere hours ago made me feel so sexy and so wanted. Also, his cock was the biggest thing I had ever seen and his sexual charisma was charming.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? it was in public and I didn’t enjoy that as much because we were both nervous. so much more could have happened.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? This hookup had made me realize both good and bad things.
first off, it made me feel sexy and it made me feel empowered because I was able to turn on somebody so much that they wanted to have sex with me in public. But on the opposite end, it made me sort of hate casual sex culture because he went out of his way to find an empty classroom to make it happen. I wish I knew what was going to happen so I could have cut things short and really made him chase me. Because if he really wanted me he would have done so.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Before this guy, I’ve had plenty of casual sex before and it was always negative, and always made me feel awful about myself after because I was so plainly used for sex that it made me feel dehumanized. My casual sexual endeavors always happened because I felt insecure and felt emotionally empty and wanted a quick fix and attention to make me forget about how I feel.
I think casual sex is a necessary evil, it is a way people choose to live their lives, and when done correctly I think it IS healthy to go out and meet new people even when it’s just to satiate a carnal desire. What I would like to see changed tho is just how it happens. Sometimes I wish it wasn’t so soulless and I wish there is still a chase involved in some aspects. Some people think that just because we matched and talked that we have to fuck on the first date and that really makes me mad and ghost me immediately after when I don’t give them what they want.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s a good way to share stories, and a good way to archive sexual interactions
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!