by Gracie

Gender: Female
Age: 19
Race/ethnicity: White
Current location: New York, NY
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Relationship status: In a relationship
Religious affiliation: Undecided
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 30ish
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 4

You’re Lovely

How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 weeks ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? First of many

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I’ll call him Joshua. He’s about 5’7″ (an inch taller than me) and solidly built. He says he’s fat, but I don’t agree, he just has a lot of mass. He has a stunning face, with deep, soulful eyes and ridiculous lips. We met last semester through our friend Matt, with whom I now live. It was at a party and he and I didn’t talk much, but he invited me back to his room at the end of the night to watch a movie. It was really late and I had an early class, so I declined, also not wanting to run the risk of having to turn him down if he made a move as I wasn’t all that interested (I was in the midst of pining over my best friend, see “Live From New York, It’s Saturday Night” for more on that one). After that night, we saw each other in the elevator a bunch (we lived in the same dorm), but didn’t hang out again until the beginning of this semester when Matt brought him to our room. I hadn’t been expecting company and was just in a thin white robe that left very little to the imagination; I could tell he enjoyed it. Matt left for a while and Joshua and I were left alone. I changed into real clothes, turning my back to him as I did so. We didn’t do anything that night, but there was clearly some sexual tension in the beginning. By the end of the night Matt and I were both vomiting in the toilet and kitchen sink due to about 5 too many gin and tonics, but Joshua stuck around and took care of us, which was really wonderful of him.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? A few days later, I was bored and so I texted Joshua seeing if I could come over to hang out for a bit. He was down, so I walked the 14 blocks to his place. We talked for a long time and listened to music. He sat at his desk while I sprawled out on his bed eating a banana (I swear I wasn’t trying to seduce him, I was just hungry). At one point, I noticed he was drawing something in a sketch pad. I asked him what it was and he said he was drawing me, very casually. We continued talking and after I said something apparently witty, he told me he really wanted to kiss me. I didn’t respond, just smirked and stared out his window. After a few more minutes, though, I found myself wanting to kiss him as well, so I leaned in. The kiss was uncomplicated and sweet, only lips and not too intense. We made out in his bed for a while before I told him I had to go home. We hung out the next 3 nights, making out and fooling around, but with no intercourse. I told him I wanted to hold off because it would be better if we couldn’t hold out any longer. This is kind of like a test I conduct when I find someone I actually like (not necessarily romantically). Usually, they’re not into waiting and I either sleep with them once and don’t repeat the act or I don’t pursue it at all. Joshua, however, was ready for the challenge. However, that lasted for all of 4 days before I caved and told him I wanted him to fuck me while we were listening to a really sexy record.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I’d been giving him a blowjob for the past few minutes. Once he was intensely aroused, I crawled up to his ear and whispered, “I want you to fuck me.” He kissed me passionately and told me to take off my pants. I obliged eagerly and lowered myself onto his cock. It felt…incredible. His penis isn’t unusually large, but it fits perfectly inside of me. We fucked for almost an hour. I had my first ever vaginal orgasm in doggy style and I practically screamed. Once we were done, he held me in bed and we talked about the stupidest, dorkiest things that I don’t feel comfortable to talk about with anyone because I’d be judged mad hard. But with him it was easy, since he’s just as big a weirdo as I am. He left around 3 AM.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? Yes! It was my first vaginal orgasm, which I let him know. He was very proud. He also had an orgasm.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We used a condom.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? So at the time, I was in a long distance open relationship with the guy I dated in high school. We’d rekindled things over the summer and were trying to make it work. We were allowed to sleep with whomever we wanted, so long as we didn’t tell the other (jealousy and whatnot). I didn’t sleep with Joshua the first time because I missed my guy from home or anything, but I was feeling kind of lonely and wanted to be wanted. Plus, he was a wonderful kisser and made me feel really comfortable.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Both of us were sober.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After that night, I began to fall for Joshua very hard and very fast. We spent almost every night together, hanging out with Matt, talking, and then fucking passionately for an hour or two. In the beginning, we both explained that we didn’t want anything serious, but it became clear about 2 weeks in that we were developing some pretty legitimate feeling for each other, so that kind of failed. I ended things with my guy from home (I felt bad, but I explained that I hadn’t meant to fall for someone, it just kind of happened). Now, we have established an exclusive relationship, which we are both very happy about. We spend most of our time together and I just met his parents in CT last weekend. We know it’s early, but we’re both completely in love and happy that we found each other, even when it began so casually.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? When we first told Matt, he was less than pleased, thinking that we’d end up ruining things in the first few days and putting him in an awkward position. But he quickly realized that we were some form of the real deal and is now very supportive. All our friends and families know we’re together, but only a handful of people know how we began seeing each other. Everyone is generally happy for us.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Incredibly consensual for both parties.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Not for one second. The only thing I regret about it all is that I was in the other relationship. I shouldn’t have gotten myself into that in the first place. My ex and I are working at being friends again, though, so I think it will all work out for the best.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing has been finding someone I love and who truly loves me back. The worst was breaking the other guy’s heart for the fourth time. He didn’t deserve that.

The initial hookup actually did change how I think about casual sex. I’ve always been incredibly sex positive – I’ve had my fair share of one-night stands with zero regrets and a couple of fuck-buddies along the way that I’ve enjoyed. I’ve never had the mindset that sex is love unless it’s done while love is already there. Now, I understand that sex can actually lead to love (NOT always, but sometimes) and that it doesn’t hurt to keep your mind open to falling for someone you’re fucking because you never know if you’re closing your mind off to something wonderful.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? We both admitted to loving each other a few days ago, but it was on the tip of our tongues for a couple weeks beforehand (we just thought it was too early and that the other wouldn’t say it back). To compensate, we would just say “You’re lovely” whenever the thought started to overwhelm us. It’s the first phrase I think of when I think of him.

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